Blow It All Away
by juniperfuzz
Summary: Temari is captured from the site of the Fourth Great Shinobi War. ShikaTema.
1. Chapter 1

_If you go,_

 _I will stall_

* * *

Temari was tip-toeing on the verge of losing consciousness. She stood with her feet dug snugly into the ground, her powerful fan outturned and taking the brute of the impact from Madara Uchiha's otherworldly _Susanoo_ chakra. Being so close to the fireball justu he had just recently expelled in spite of her attack against him, the sand kunoichi regretfully hadn't had enough time to get out of the way before Madara began offing people around her like flies.

Her eyes were shut too tightly to really get a grasp of all that was happening around her, but she could assume a large majority of the Allied Shinobi Forces had already retreated to form a battle plan. Temari had likely already been left for dead, and that was if anyone had even noticed she was gone at this point. What had it been, only ten, fifteen minutes at the most? That wasn't enough time for anyone to garner much concern for her. Her two brothers had more important things to do than worry over their big sister, and who else really even knew her by name? The lot from Konoha that she had all met at one time or another were more than likely split up, their thoughts undoubtedly elsewhere at this point in the battle.

Madara's chakra grew even _more_ intense, pushing her heels backwards even further. It was at this moment Temari met her resolve, and realized that truly the only way to make it out of this was by herself. _Nobody_ was coming to rescue her, and she was incredibly stupid for ever thinking so.

Slowly and methodically, Temari began inching backwards. She was careful to keep her fan raised protectively in front of her, but still frowned every few moments as a new rip would form on her favorite weapon of choice. Things seemed to be going well for a few minutes, the sounds of battle growing louder only encouraged her, meaning she was getting closer to her goal

That is, until she managed to hear a faint _thump_ coming from directly behind her, near enough to startle her. It sounded as if something had… _landed_?

"Is someone there?" Temari voiced loudly. She hesitated a moment, waiting to hear a response but then feebly residing to believe it was only her imagination. Taking in a deep breath and gritting her teeth, the sand kunoichi took another cautionary step backwards - stumbling as she realized she had just walked _right into someone._

They locked strong arms around her neck and torso, forcing her to drop her fan and powerless to do much else as she was immediately hit with the full force of Madara's chakra still swimming around her.

"Don't worry!" an unsettlingly giddy voice spoke far too enthusiastically in her ear, "You'll be safe soon, Temari-chan."

Feeling far too nauseous to become very alarmed at whatever that statement implicated, Temari closed her eyes involuntarily as she felt the wind shift around them, signalling a change in setting as she no longer sensed the overwhelming chakra of Madara's _Susanoo._

As her consciousness left her, Temari only wished that she would wake up in the medical tent.

* * *

 **AN: Okay so this is a really short first chapter, but I _swear on everything_ that every chapter following this will be at least triple the size! It's just that I liked this as an intro, and I didn't like how it looked leading into the next part.**

 **So this story clearly takes place during the Fourth Great Shinobi War, specifically around Shippuden episode 360, I believe? I will also mention that this fic is heavily inspired by an amazing fic called _Dancing Winds_ by DSaph. You definitely don't have to read that one to understand what happens here, but I recommend it a thousand times over if you're as big of a Temari fan as me! **

**The title of this fic and snippets at the beginning of the chapter are from the Sia song, Blow It All Away. The next few chapters are already written, and should be out shortly!**

 **I will also warn you guys that this story will have very mature themes and some graphic scenes, so please head the M rating.**

 **Review, favorite, & follow if this peaks your interest! Have a great day.**


	2. Chapter 2

**_Warning: There is a very graphic scene in this chapter! Please be warned._**

* * *

 _Forever is your mind to be naive_

 _Remember it will bring us to our knees_

* * *

Temari awoke to a dim sight of monochromatism. Only grays and blacks painted her vision.

She tried sitting up to get a better feel of her surroundings, quickly realizing that she was _bound_. Her hands were tied together behind her back, the very same knot connecting to a rope keeping her ankles pressed into each other. It was quite an uncomfortable position, and she was momentarily confused as to how she had even slept through it.

"So you are finally awake." A deep voice suddenly spoke aloud from somewhere in the dark room. Temari squinted, willing her eyes to adjust to the dull environment, but was quite irritated to realize that her vision remained blurred. It was as if her chakra was still exhausted from… _who knows how long ago_? Her limbs ached but she couldn't be entirely sure if it was from the uncomfortable bindings or lack of use.

"How long have I been out?" Temari has really tried her hardest to sound tough and yet ended up cringing when she heard the weak croak of her own voice.

"You don't need to worry about that." It was that voice again. There was some rustling around as if they were looking for something. _They_ were most definitely a man, as it was one of the more masculine, menacing voices she could remember hearing through her lifetime.

There was suddenly a flicker of light from the corner of the room. The sand kunoichi strained to focus on it, again to no avail. She stiffened as she felt the man's presence brush by her, and then another little glimmer of light from her peripheral. Growing angry, Temari demanded, "What are you doing?"

"I'm simply lighting candles so that you can see," he responded. At that she subsided, if only for a few moments until she opened her mouth again.

"Where am I?"

The man sighed but said nothing. Her surroundings continued to enlighten around her, and Temari continued asking questions.

"Who are you? Are you with the Allied Shinobi Forces? Is the war over? Where are my brothers?"

He remained silent. Finally it seemed as if the last candle had been lit and yet Temari was met with the man's back profile, no closer to realizing his true identity. He said to her, "Has anyone ever told you that you talk too much?"

Temari snorted. She continued laughing crudely, but as she opened her eyes from a brief rest the breath caught in her throat at the realization of the figure turning to face her.

" _Madara Uchiha?_ " she spat out, disbelief quite apparent in her features. He smiled, making his way over to her bound body before kneeling down to meet her at eye level. Calmly, he inquired, "Are you surprised?"

She narrowed her eyes, never once backing down from his gaze. "Why have you taken me captive?"

"Obviously I saw you on the battlefield. Do you remember how we met? Even in my dull reanimated form, I knew that I wanted you." Madara reached out to caress Temari's cheek. She naturally tried to recoil from his graze, proving unsuccessful in her attempts as she was still tied up.

Wait… _Reanimated?_ Temari's eyes widened. Through her newly cleared vision, she could see without a sliver of doubt that the Uchiha's Sharingan were no longer swimming in blackness, the telltale sign of a reanimated body.

Madara chuckled, retracting his hand from her skin. "Yes, I am now fully _alive._ To explain it easily for you, I have already defeated the Allied Shinobi Forces and successfully cast the Infinite Tsukiyomi."

A knot began forming in Temari's chest. "That can't be true."

"If it wasn't, then how would I be here right now? Logically I would still be out there fighting, wouldn't I? Why hasn't anyone found you yet, then? Or even begun looking?" Madara was pleased to be met with silence, signalled by the growing grin on his face. Continuing, he said, "When you think about it thoroughly, it is the only explanation that makes perfect sense. So yes, your brothers and all of your comrades are sincerely gone forever inside of their respective dream worlds. As I have now achieved my life's ambition, I will spend the rest of my days in this revived form relaxing with you as my sole company. Aside from the zetsus, of course, but I don't generally perceive them as people, nor do I find pleasure in their companionship."

Temari was absolutely stunned. She was still reeling from the prospect of _everyone she had ever known_ being taken from her in such a way… To never see her brothers again. Never watch Shikamaru raise a single lazy hand to greet her at the entrance to the Leaf. Never take another casual stroll through Suna, window shopping gifts for herself and family. _Never?_

"Won't you put me under it as well?" The sand kunoichi surprised herself with her words, but Madara's face remained impassive. "I doubt that you'll release anyone from it at my request, so won't you let me join them instead?"

"No." Madara responded quickly. She opened her mouth in protest and he swiftly placed a gloved hand over it, silencing her. "Things are exactly the way I want them right now, because _I_ put in my best efforts to win _my_ war. Now I will reap my rewards."

His hand still covering her mouth, Madara hastily began tearing Temari's uniform from her body. Alarms started blaring in her mind and she instinctively bit down on his hand as hard as she could. The glove, despite not being a piece of armor, was still made of pretty thick fabric. She doubted that it did any damage to him at all, but the implication of what she had tried to do was fully there. Without hesitation, Madara ripped his glove off and slapped her hard against the face, a rather annoyed expression on his face as he continued his assault on her clothing.

Temari was still feeling numb from her dreadful discovery, and now her cheek was burning where it had met his palm. She closed her eyes tightly while trying to will herself out of this situation, out of these bindings, and _away_ from Madara.

"Open your eyes. Look at me." Madara commanded, a lingering threat in his tone.

"Please stop." She was still wriggling.

He slapped her again in the same spot and she couldn't help but cry out, her eyes still shut defiantly. " _Look at me."_ When Temari continued to refuse his request, she was met with a strong punch to her nose in lieu of the stinging sensations on her cheek.

She could no longer feel her nose, but now was definitely detecting something dripping down into her mouth. The metallic taste told her that it was _blood_ \- her own, obviously.

"This would have been much easier without struggle," the Uchiha stated bitterly. "When I give you an order from now on, you follow it. Now open your eyes."

Reluctantly she obeyed. Temari was immediately met with a persistent throbbing in her head, telling her that she was likely concussed from his earlier blow. As she shifted her gaze towards Madara, she could see he was in the act of removing his own uniform.

It was so difficult to focus on the situation at hand when her mind was still grasping the insane things he had told her only mere minutes ago. Temari was having trouble motivating herself to even keep _breathing,_ let alone fend off Madara Uchiha. But of course underneath the disattachment she knew what he wanted, and what she didn't.

"Please, Madara. I don't want to do this." Her voice sounded funny through the blood filling her mouth and the pulsing in her ears. She thought that maybe using his given name would add depth to her plea.

"I do not want to hear you speak." He spoke as if he were scolding a child, his clothes dropped to the ground. "And even if you do, you will address me as Madara- _sama._ " Madara abruptly punched her in the gut, leaving her coughing and sputtering as he began slicing the binds trapping her legs together.

"I must say, you looked much prettier before you forced me to become physical with you." the Uchiha spoke nonchalantly as he tossed away his kunai. Temari on the other hand was still wheezing, blood now flowing freely from her mouth as well.

"P-please, Madara-sama, stop." She forced the words out from between her bumbling lips, wondering if they were even intelligible.

His eyes met hers with a sharp look as he spoke, "I would cover your mouth, but I don't want you to cough up any blood on my hands. So I'm just going to ask you to remain quiet for this next part." Temari desperately tried clasping her thighs together, but Madara roughly split them apart. His fingertips dug into her skin.

He had asked for her silence, but Temari screamed.

* * *

 **I hope that didn't disgust anyone _too_ much, but let me tell you it was pretty nasty to write. As far as I know this will be the only chapter that gets that *involved* in that sense. **

**Thank you so much for your support on this story so far! And thank you chlorineobsession for your feedback! :)**

 **Make sure to favorite, follow, & review if this peaks your interest!**

 **Have a great day!**


	3. Chapter 3

_Where there's ice to be found_

 _The seed lies underground_

* * *

Madara grew more and more violent with her as their number of intimacies grew. He enjoyed slapping and smacking her around, rendering her body too weak to even think of challenging him when he started undoing her bindings. What followed afterwards hurt even more. _How much pain does it take to kill me?_

Temari would awaken only when Madara was present and always passed out as soon as he finished with her. He continued doing the same things he did and a few times after he was done had forced her to down a glass of water before she drifted back into unconsciousness. She sometimes wondered how long it had been since she'd eaten, thinking it strange how she never seemed to grow an appetite. She remained bound but it hardly even mattered since every time he finished she felt too weak and humiliated to even open her eyes, let alone try to escape.

Temari's entire existence had become rather dreary. She didn't necessarily accept her fate, but didn't try fighting it either. It seemed pointless. Why try escaping when there was nothing left to escape _to_?

Sometimes as she drifted into sleep she could overhear him talking. To who, she wasn't quite sure. She wouldn't have even listened to his voice if she could help it. It felt wet and slimy to her ears, making her shiver all over.

But Temari heard things. Whispers about the war, except she couldn't quite tune in well enough to hear the specifics and before she knew it she had passed out again. Her slumber was always dreamless, and when she woke up again it was to his touch, always burning hot against her freezing skin.

She truthfully didn't know how many days she had been there with him, if not weeks. She didn't think much anymore at all, to be frank. Her body was intended to be a vessel for something living and breathing, but lately it had felt like her spirit had disappeared and left her _empty._

* * *

"So who was the last person that saw Temari?" Shikamaru Nara asked, scratching the back of his head as he leapt from tree to tree, trying to make some conversation.

"We _all_ saw her, remember? When she threw that huge wind jutsu at Madara and he skidded across the ground like a little bitch!" exclaimed Kankuro, seemingly getting a little caught up in his retelling of the action.

"Yeah, and that was about a week ago." Kiba said from behind the two, his nose scrunching up from the different smells surrounding them. "Not to be rude or anything, dude, but isn't it more likely that she's just de-"

"Kiba-kun! Don't talk that way in front of Kankuro!" Sakura chided. "If Temari had passed away, we would have found her body by now. She's the only shinobi unaccounted for, it wouldn't make any sense."

Shikamaru snuck a glance over at Kankuro to check his reaction. The sand shinobi looked as stoic as ever, but Shikamaru could sense the worry he felt for his sister. It had been hardly an hour after the Fourth Great Shinobi War officially ended that Kankuro came scuffling into the medic tent where Shikamaru was being treated for some minor scrapes and bruises.

" _Hey, have you seen Temari?!" Kankuro hollered at him, wide eyes searching the room frantically as if she was going to pop out somewhere._

" _Uh… come to think of it, no." Shikamaru said, furrowing his eyebrows. That was the first thing that struck him as a bit off. The previous days he had seen all of his friends and acquaintances a few times each, always exchanging a casual nod or smile in recognition. And yet he hadn't seen Temari once since… since the reanimations began. "Why do you ask?"_

" _I'm kinda freaking out, man." Kankuro admitted, taking a seat next to his fellow shinobi "Gaara just finished going over the numbers. Every living sand shinobi has checked in with him already except for her."_

 _Shikamaru's stomach began to feel funny. "She's not… you know. One of us would have noticed if she had been hurt."_

" _That's what I keep trying to tell myself, but…"_

" _Listen, Kankuro." Shikamaru willed himself to sound strong, despite the uneasiness settling into his stomach. "It's going to take a few days to gather all the bodies and identify them correctly. If she doesn't show up in those few days and when none of those corpses are hers, we will personally go look for her out there together. Okay?"_

 _Kankuro rubbed at his eyes, sniffling a bit. "Yeah. Yeah, okay."_

Three whole days passed without a single trace of Temari and the official list of the deceased was released, categorized neatly by village and rank. The both of them thoroughly read through it three times over and couldn't find her name anywhere. At that point they went to Gaara with an official mission request.

"Shikamaru Nara. Hinata Hyuuga. Kiba Inuzuka. Sakura Haruno. Kankuro, you are the leader of this mission." Gaara addressed the group of five with as much poise and professionalism expected from a Kage. Each shinobi straightened their backs as they were named. "As you may or may not know, my elder sister Temari has been missing since roughly around the second day of battle. Her body has not yet been found nor did anyone witness her death, which leads us to believe that this is worthy of a retrieval mission. If in three weeks time there is still no evidence of her being alive, promptly return here to Konoha. I will be residing here with the other kage until a new Hokage is chosen to surpass Tsunade-sama. That is all. Good luck and thank you." The five of them bowed deeply to the Kazekage and then turned to leave.

It was easy to see how each of them had been chosen for this particular mission. Hinata and Kiba were helpful trackers. Sakura was a medic nin, which were always required to be present for any retrieval mission to ensure the survival of the retrieved. Kankuro had the right to attend due to familial relations, and his jonin rank allowed him to lead the mission.

Shikamaru wasn't _quite_ sure why he had been handpicked by the _Kazekage_ to track down his sister. Of course he cared considerably for Temari, and he believed they had formed a strong friendship through the years, but how could Gaara have ever known that? And why would it have impacted the formation of this mission's team? Nonetheless, between wrestling through the emotions following his comrade Neji and his own father's death, Shikamaru spent a substantial amount of time wondering if Temari was okay.

He felt guilty. Like he was supposed to be protecting her or something, and even though he knew she was far more than capable of taking care of herself, he still wished he had at least kept an eye on her. Or checking up on her every few hours. Like that could have prevented her disappearance.

But things really weren't adding up. If Temari had died, her body would already have been found. There was absolutely no reason at all for her to run away. And what shinobi would have the time to kidnap her in the middle of a war? It was like she had simply vanished.

"How is her scent, Kiba?" Kankuro asked, shattering the uncomfortable silence and pulling Shikamaru out of his thoughts.

Kiba held down a scrap of Temari's old clothing to Akamaru's nose. The dog inhaled deeply, then let out a guttural bark. "We still can't seem to get a read on it. Sorry."

Kankuro went silent again, which Shikamaru took as a sign of his growing unease. He turned to Hinata, who was travelling quietly to his right. "Do you see anything unusual, Hinata?"

The shy Hyuuga tilted her head. She offered up some information. "There are a few caves coming up about ten kilometers ahead. We could search them if you'd like, Kankuro-san."

The sand shinobi nodded, massaging his temples as he did so. "Yeah, let's do that. And if we don't find anything, we can just start setting up for the night inside one of 'em."

Nearly half an hour later, the five of them split up to explore the different caves. They opted to travel separately in order to cover more ground but used Hinata's Byakugan and Akamaru's periodic barks to stay linked as a unit amidst faint footsteps across rocky surfaces.

* * *

It must have been at least two hours later when Akamaru came running up to Shikamaru at full speed, practically knocking him over.

"What? What is it?" Shikamaru growled, slowly rising back up to his feet. He had suffered through some pretty troublesome experiences with dogs in the past, especially those belonging to Kakashi Hatake, and wasn't exactly eager to interact one-on-one with Kiba's favorite furry friend either.

Akamaru's irritating barks echoed throughout the cave and the little mutt began motioning with his snout towards the exit of Shikamaru's designated location. Sighing, the lazy shinobi began dusting himself off and preparing to go follow the senile hound against his better judgement.

The nin-dog continued leading him out from his cave, running all the way over to where Kiba had been exploring. Shikamaru began to seriously question if Akamaru was just leading him to fish out some dog treats or something when he finally saw the different outlines of his teammates huddled deep inside of the rocky terrain. They all seemed to be gathered around something, Sakura kneeling behind Hinata and Kankuro while Kiba was standing a little ways off by himself, leaning against the wall with his hands behind his head.

"Oi, guys, what's going on here?" Shikamaru couldn't help but be a little curious, and began walking closer to his companions. That was when he saw tufts of dirty blonde hair peeking from behind Sakura's shoulder, leading his eyes to an almost unrecognizable figure laid on the ground.

His jaw went completely slack. In the dim, grungry lighting his eyes could hardly discern features belonging to Temari, yet at the same time he had no doubts that it was her. Her yellow hair, despite being tousled out of its signature four ponytails and riddling with blood and grime, was still a color he had never seen on anyone else _but_ her. He involuntarily winced as he looked over the sight of her face, presenting bruises of all different shades and sizes and a scabbing split lip.

Shikamaru instantly flushed as he realized that Temari was unclothed. Quickly turning away, he made his way over to stand next to Kiba, who also seemed to be avoiding the awkward sight of Temari's naked body.

"I found her here while I was exploring. Akamaru started making rounds to alert everyone about forty-five minutes ago," Kiba quietly explained, his eyes staring at the ground.

"Was she awake when you got here?" Shikamaru whispered back.

Kiba shook his head. "No. And no worries, she isn't dead. Sakura's keeping her asleep while she heals her well enough to travel back with us." He paused, making his voice drop even lower. "She looked pretty bad, man. Someone did a number on her."

Shikamaru snuck another glance over. "Why is Hinata over there?"

Kiba shrugged. "I dunno. Sakura said something about needing ' _a woman's help_ '. Whatever that means."

"I'm just about done." Sakura announced from her position next to Temari's unconscious form. " _And_ I could hear everything you were saying, idiots. Can someone please grab a blanket to wrap her in?"

"Can you wake her up now? Please. I want to talk to her." Kankuro pleaded. Shikamaru frowned at the imploring tone of his voice.

"I'm sorry, Kankuro-san, but I really can't. The pain medication I brought with me won't be enough to get her through the night. Tomorrow morning we will wake her up, and get some food into her - seriously, can _somebody_ get Temari-san a blanket? _Shikamaru_? _Kiba_?" The two exchanged panicked glances at Sakura's shrill demands and hurriedly began searching through their respective backpacks.

Shikamaru was surprised to see he had actually brought an extra blanket along. Master strategist, as usual. He turned to hand it to Sakura, who snatched it with a muttered _thank you_.

As Sakura raised Temari's shoulders to place the blanket beneath her, Shikamaru forced himself to look away from them. One thing he was sure of is that Temari wouldn't want any prying eyes, especially not standing over her unconscious, beaten form.

He instead wisely turned his attention to Kankuro while Hinata assisted Sakura in covering up Temari. The sand shinobi's skin face had gone rather pale in contrast to his flashy makeup, unblinking eyes bugging out of his head as they were locked onto his elder sister.

"You feeling okay, man?" Speaking tenderly was something Shikamaru had been remarkably improving at recently. With the many losses brought on by the war, it seemed like almost everybody he had ever known was in mourning. He had countless tearful encounters with Ino following the passing of both of their fathers, more than he would like to admit initiated by himself. The last time he had been in Konoha Shikamaru had spent hours wandering the nearby houses, dropping flowers and other gifts of sympathy. He had even briefly visited the prestigious Hyuuga compound to pay his respects to Hinata and the rest of her family in regards to Neji's demise, accompanied by Choji and Ino of course.

Kankuro merely nodded in response to Shikamaru's question, and the act came off rather mechanical to say the least. But Shikamaru was smart enough not to prod his friend any further, knowing he was already in for a rough few days.

"Okay, she's decent," Sakura said at last with a sigh. Shikamaru lifted his gaze from the floor, watching as Sakura kindly thanked Hinata and then turned her body to face Kankuro.

"Kankuro-san, it still isn't completely dark. Would you like to keep moving or settle here for the night?"

Kankuro's eyebrows furrowed, almost lost amidst his painted face. "Is it safe to travel with Temari asleep?"

Sakura nodded. "Yes, it should be fine. She shouldn't wake up for another twelve hours at least. The only thing is that we would need the largest teammate to carry her as we move, which would be you, Kankuro."

"Akamaru could take her." Kiba added. The dog beside him barked in compliance, wagging his tail.

"Wait a minute," Shikamaru interjected. Four pairs of eyes turned to him in brief confusion. "I think that we should stay here for the night, that way when Temari wakes up tomorrow she can identify if this place is where she's been the whole time."

"What do you mean? This is where we found her, isn't it?" Kankuro inquired.

"Well, look around." Shikamaru spoke monotonously, casually resting his hands behind his head. "She's beat up, but there's no traces of blood or weapons here at all. Her uniform isn't here, either. That makes me think that someone must have transported her from where she was being held to this cave, all while she was still unconscious."

"Come to think of it, there aren't even any traces of someone else being here at all. It's like they just dumped her here." Sakura said, her fingers tucked beneath her chin as she appeared to be deep in thought.

"Actually…" Kiba said uneasily, glancing around at his teammates. "There's a really faint scent that Akamaru and I picked up when we first came in here."

"Why didn't you tell us that in the first place?" Shikamaru grumbled.

"We didn't want to alarm anyone, we - ''

"Whose is it?" Kankuro interrupted, his eyes narrowing. Kiba took a deep breath.

"Madara Uchiha."

* * *

 **Now that the gang is all here, what left is there to unfold? :o I hope that I haven't overestimated Kankuro and Shikamaru's relationship. I don't believe they've interacted much in canon, but I totally see Kankuro as being a goofy, hardcore ShikaTema shipper!**

 **I am so happy to see that there are people enjoying this story! Your support means the world to me.**

 **If this peaks your interest, make sure to favorite, follow, & review!**

 **And as always, have a great day!**


	4. Chapter 4

_You're foolish and diluted_

 _Too many lies have you burned_

* * *

Sakura hummed quietly to herself as her eyes grazed the pitch-black sky of the night, her features only softly illuminated by the flames flickering a few feet away.

Her teammates were all sleeping in their respective tents, and she had opted to take the third watch. Kankuro had woken her a few hours ago for her late night shift, and while it had taken a bit of time convincing him that Temari would be absolutely safe under her watchful eye, Sakura managed to coax him into sleeping.

She let out a long sigh. Life as a medic-nin was incredibly difficult sometimes, more than she could have ever imagined beforehand. It was always taunting healing someone after they had already been hurt, a harrowing harpoon of guilt buried deep in her gut that never quite left and only grew with every interaction. She felt like she had failed to protect her comrades even as she was healing them.

Temari's physical condition was nothing to be taken lightly, but with the proper hospitalization and care she could return to regular A-class missions in as quickly as a month's time. What _really_ concerned Sakura was how the sand kunoichi's mental state would be faring once she was awake. Being tortured and beaten was one thing, and something that every shinobi feared in the depths of their minds. But the underlying fear of being physically violated by an enemy was something that only kunoichi could imagine, and it hurt Sakura's heart that it had happened to her closest friend from another village.

It was something Sakura had literally _zero_ experience with. Back when it was only Hinata and her in the cave alone, the Hyuuga girl assisting her through the use of the Byakugan, Sakura was relaying to her lifelong friend the implications of Temari's wounds. Curiously, Sakura asked, "Has anything like that ever happened to you, Hinata-chan?"

The shy Hyuuga lowered her head in indignity and in a hushed voice began talking about a mission over a year ago where she became incapacitated and cornered by an ten-person group of enemy nin that made their salacious intent known to her. She informed Sakura that Kiba and Shino had arrived to help her before anything happened, but the experience had still left her frightened. Hinata was close to tears and emphasizing the impact that talking to her sensei Kurenai Yuhi had on her when Kankuro entered the cave and abruptly ended the kunoichi's conversation.

Of course Kankuro had not yet asked about the specifications of what Temari's injuries indicated, and Sakura doubted that he or Gaara would find out until the kunoichi had been thoroughly checked over at the Konoha hospital. And even then it would be her primary medic's duty to tell them, which was hopefully _not_ Sakura.

* * *

It was during Shikamaru's watch that Temari woke from her prolonged slumber.

The sun was just barely visible, slowly spilling out over the horizon when he had heard someone quietly weeping, the sounds emanating from inside the girls' tent to his right. The lazy shinobi continued listening as Hinata woke up and then Sakura, the two of them moving to comforting the sand kunoichi in quiet voices and assuring her of her safety.

Temari began to cry harder, her noises stifled by the fabric of the blanket being drawn to her face and Shikamaru started to feel embarrassment creeping up on him like a shiver. It felt like he was witnessing something that he _shouldn't_ be, and made him want to leave as quickly as possible. Swiftly escaping the situation he made his way over to the tent shared by Kankuro. Kiba, and himself. He gently shook Kankuro's sleeping form in an attempt to wake him up.

"Kankuro, it's Shikamaru, wake up."

Kankuro began rubbing his tired eyes. "Eh? I already took my watch, man - ''

Shikamaru shook his head. "That's not it. Temari's awake."

Kankuro's eyes widened, and then he instantly sprung up from his position sprawled on the ground wrapped in blankets. He hastily opened the flap of their tent, practically ripping it in the process, and slipped into the outside.

Shikamaru let his shoulders slump as he exhaled, noticing Kiba was slowly rising from his sleep, reaching over the pet Akamaru on the head absentmindedly. "Wuz going on, Shik'maru? Temari's awake?"

Shikamaru almost chuckled at his friend's groggy expression. "Yeah, she is. Go back to sleep."

Kiba fell back onto his pillow, a troubled expression on his face. "Well, shouldn't we go see her or something?"

"I don't know, don't you think she'd be overwhelmed with all of us there?"

"Maybe," Kiba shrugged. "But what if she was be angry at us for _not_ wanting to see her? Women always get angry over stuff like that."

 _That's a good point,_ Shikamaru realized. _Women are truly unpredictable._ "But don't they also get angry when you don't give them space?"

"Well, I don't really know," Kiba mumbled, looking about as conflicted as Shikamaru felt internally.

It was obviously a troublesome situation, and there were two options that could lead to two _very_ different outcomes:

 _Shikamaru and Kiba waltz into the crowded kunoichi tent. They immediately find Temari, bundled inside of her blanket, red-faced as they collapse onto her with an embrace. "Temari, you're okay!" they cry out._

 _She elbows both of them in the face, sending them tumbling out of the tent. "You idiots! Crybaby and dog-breath, can't you see that I'm too emotionally fragile to deal with this amount of people at the moment?"_

 _It's years before Temari even looks in either of their directions ever again._

 _2\. Shikamaru was taking a catnap when the flap to his tent opened. His head lolled over to the side, where he caught sight of Temari snaking her body through the opening._

" _Oi, are you feeling any better?" he asked casually, relaxing with his hands behind his head._

" _Yes, no thanks to you." Temari turned her face to him and shot a glare, icicles practically shooting from her pupils and piercing through his heart. "You didn't think visiting your lifelong friend, ill and on the brink of death, was a priority?"_

" _How were you on the brink of death just an hour ago?" Shikamaru questioned. "If you're here now and you're fine - ''_

" _That doesn't matter." the sand kunoichi snarled, crossing her arms in front of her chest as her lips curled in disgust. "Consider this friendship over. And Suna is declaring war on Konoha due to your negligent and tasteless actions towards an ally."_

Shikamaru gulped. Neither scenarios were too appealing, and after a few silent moments of consideration he opted to visit Temari in an hour's time, when he hoped that her tent wouldn't be as crowded.

* * *

Temari was confused.

A few minutes ago she had woken from a dreamless sleep but not once dared to open her eyes. She didn't want to see his face; maybe if she kept her eyes shut tightly enough he would assume that she was still asleep and leave her alone.

The problem was that she had used this strategy a couple times before, and it hadn't ever worked. She wondered if Madara could perhaps somehow sense a shift in her chakra between the unconsciousness and waking, because he always seemed to just _know._ It was completely bizarre.

But something was different this time. He wasn't making any noise at all, and he wasn't actually _doing_ anything to her yet. She couldn't feel any bindings tying her body together uncomfortably but that wasn't astonishingly uncommon. He knew that her body with its recent lack of nutrients was far too weak to even try fending him off, but he usually opted to use precaution anyways.

Thinking about Madara like this made Temari begin to feel uneasy. She was never given this much time alone to reflect on her situation and all of the painful memories came furiously flashing inside of her mind as if worried she would _forget_ about them.

She squeezed tears from her eyes, a dull sting as the salty liquid seeped into the wounds layering her cheeks. Temari shakily brought her hand up to wipe the teardrops, willing herself to stop.

"Temari-san?"

Her eyes opened wide at the sound of a gentle, feminine voice. It almost sounded alien to her tainted ears, like something she had never heard before. Temari turned her head in amazement to see one of the Hyuuga kunoichi from Konoha sitting upwards from a sleeping bag laid out beside her.

Her brain started doing flip-flops inside the confinements of her skull. Suddenly nothing was really making sense. Weren't all of the Allied Shinobi Forces under the Infinite Tsukiyomi? Was _she_ now under the Infinite Tsukiyomi? Maybe Madara had tired of her and let her go... Except the more she thought about it she realized that it would only serve as too much of a kindness on his part. He _wanted_ her to suffer, didn't he?

The kunoichi repositioned herself to look directly at Temari. Her tender, white eyes swimming with sympathy and worry struck Temari's memory and she realized they had met before. "Are you feeling alright, Temari-san?"

The sand kunoichi's voice was buried deep in her throat. Was this real? Had she really been rescued?

Then the doubt began to creep upon her, snaking through her body. What if this was genjutsu? The sand siblings had never been trained very well on that subject. What if Madara was taunting her, just to eventually release her from his little mind game and crush the growing happiness coursing through her?

The Hyuuga girl turned to wake someone from the opposite side of their tent, and alerted the other girl that Temari was awake. Temari quickly recognized her as one of Naruto Uzumaki's teammates, the one mentored by the Godaime Hokage. The two girls turned to her together and offered nearly identical compassionate expressions.

"Temari, I'm going to need to check you over soon with my medical ninjutsu." The pink-haired girl said, the serene and serious expression of a medical professional overtaking her features. "Is there anything you want to tell us before I do that?"

The sand kunoichi suddenly felt very insecure amongst all the other emotions tangled up inside her. She never wanted to be _coddled_ and certainly not in her own dream, or genjutsu.

"Where is Madara?" Temari demanded, loathing her voice's unreliable croak. Her throat burned from dehydration, and as her body began to tremble it was clear that she was testing her limits just by speaking.

The Hyuuga spoke in her ever-present worrisome tone. "Madara Uchiha? Was he involved in this, Temari-san?"

"I just need to know if this is real or not," Temari's shaky tone gained strength as she continued to speak. "Is this the genjutsu - or maybe you two are Zetsus? Is Madara around here somewhere or am I stuck inside my own mind here?"

The pink-haired girl shook her head. "You have been gone a while. Madara Uchiha is dead. Black Zetsu killed him about a week ago."

Temari frowned. _Black_ Zetsu? Who the hell was that? Just as she was opening her mouth to ask, the Hyuuga girl interrupted her. "Temari-san, whatever has happened is over. You are completely safe now."

For some reason that last remark hit the sand kunoichi harder than she wanted it to. The look that those two gave her, whether they were real or fake or hallucinations or _what_ , practically made her want to melt into a puddle and disappear down a drain. Those pitiful stares were absolutely agonizing to her, the intense feelings embarrassment and humiliation she had endured flushing back to her again. And it was at that point she realized that whether this experience was cemented in reality or not, Temari was beyond thankful for a _break._

Almost against her will, she started to cry when she thought about it more. It didn't even mortify her anymore to think of Madara watching this whole event unfold through his stupid Sharingan; he had seen her cry many times before and never seemed to take much delight or dismay in it.

"Temari, we know that a lot has happened. We can talk more once I'm done checking you over. And we can get some food and water in you too, doesn't that sound nice?" the pink-haired girl said, planting a cheesy smile on her face. She was clearly just trying to do her job, but at least she wasn't too pushy with it so Temari obliged, and was coaxed into a position lying on her back on top of the comfy sleeping bag.

It proved to be difficult only because the sand kunoichi had never stopped crying. In fact, her quiet weeping turned to a noisy sob every time the girl's slender fingers grazed her bare skin.. She _couldn't_ remember the last time she was touched without bad intention.

In the middle of it all, a figure came rushing into their tent. Temari gasped, her worst case scenario playing out in her mind as she shut her eyes tightly. She feared that when they opened once more she would see Madara standing in front of her. The Konoha kunoichi would morph back into Zetsus and scramble to their master's side. The world around her would warp her back into reality, where she still remained bound on the grimy cave floor, her stomach aching and head feeling airy.

Then she heard a familiar voice call out, an edge to their tone that stirred emotions inside of her. "Temari!"

The sand kunoichi's eyes opened abruptly and she was treated to the sight of her baby brother Kankuro, gazing down at her with wonder filling his eyes as if she had been brought back from the dead.

"Kankuro." Temari said quietly, her lips curling into a smile. In that moment she almost didn't care whether he was real or just a part of this imagination, because the joy swelling in her heart was worth the heartbreak. Her brother reached out to embrace her only to be swatted away by the medic nin.

"Sorry, Kankuro, but I have to finish this up first. Ten minutes, I promise." she sounded remorseful.

Kankuro bowed his head in disagreement but abided nonetheless. Temari prayed that his eyes never reached the tattered skin of her body. She listened to the medic hum as she worked on her, the sound off-key and a bit shrill but reminding Temari of her constant amusement at Konoha ninja's expense during every trip she had ever taken there. She always found it peculiar how they skillfully skated around every topic, never saying what it is they _really_ wanted to. It would irk her because in Suna everybody was at least honest with each other, and made their intentions known from the beginning. The only person from the Leaf she had ever known like that was _Madara._

* * *

"Temari's eating, if you want to go talk to her."

Shikamaru turned towards the open flap of the tent. "Uh, yeah, sure. Where is she?"

"In her tent," Kankuro responded, pushing his body through the opening and plopping his body face-down on his gray sleeping bag. "Sakura says we'll leave right after she's done with her breakfast."

"I thought you were the team captain? You're just letting a girl boss you around now?" Kiba teased playfully from his position next to Shikamaru. Kankuro merely shrugged his shoulders, clearly not in the mood for a discussion on his masculinity.

Shikamaru stood up with a groan and passed by his friends, venturing into the outside as he yawned. The light stung his eyes, leaving him squinting as he maneuvered around the clearing they resided in. It couldn't have been much over an hour since he heard Temari rustling around on his watch, and still the reclusive time spent in the tent with Kiba had taken quite the toll on his below-par eyesight.

He looked over to his left and saw Hinata and Sakura huddled together, packing some things into a backpack as they whispered amongst themselves secretively. They didn't seem to notice him, or if they did never even batted an eye as his feet rustled the leaves layering the grass.

Once Shikamaru was positioned directly in front of the girls' tent, he took a quiet breath. In his typical monotone voice, the lazy shinobi inquired, "Can I come in?"

Muted chewing and other eating noises graced his ears before a croaky voice replied, "Yeah."

That was enough of an invitation for him, despite the lack of enthusiasm evident in her tone. He split the flap open and quickly shimmied his lanky form through it, avoiding the sight of Temari sitting in the far right and planting himself on the complete opposite side. She would probably be more comfortable with him like that anyways.

Temari continued chewing her food. Shikamaru still hadn't gotten a look at her, his gaze was centered solely on the sleeping bag barred between them. Temari certainly didn't seem in any particular rush to have a conversation with him, and he couldn't help but think himself a bit silly that she would be overjoyed to see him after all this time.

And it wasn't that he was _unhappy_ to see her safe, in fact he felt quite the opposite. It was just a little awkward. They had definitely never reached the level of friendship where you had sappy, heartfelt moments. Temari was all bark, all bite. She never had time for tears.

"Hey." Shikamaru finally said, hesitantly lifting his eyes up to look at her. She was now fully clothed in a spare loose shirt and pants - thank _God_ he didn't have to stumble around with a naked woman in the room again. She was mostly bandaged around her arms and legs with a sizeable one wrapped around her forehead as well, indicating her injuries. Her split lip looked to be on the verge of rupturing with the absurd pace that she was devouring her meal.

Temari swallowed, her gaze meeting his. "Hey."

For a moment they were enveloped in silence, until Shikamaru cleared his throat.

"I'm glad to see you're okay," he said, ducking his head, and his words were genuine. He _had_ been fairly worried about her, even feared that her retrieval mission would end up being for a corpse. It was extremely heartening to watch her like this, breathing and eating _right_ in front of him. A smile tugged at the corners of his lips.

It was only when Shikamaru looked back over at her that his smile immediately dropped back into a frown.

Her eyes were narrowed, the plate of food resting calmly on her lap. She _definitely_ wasn't returning his grin. "Uh-huh," she said, something unexpected lurking behind her words. It was like she was… _suspicious_ of him?

"What's up?" he asked, the confusion evident in his tone.

"Why are _you_ asking _me_ what's up, as if I know anything?" Temari snarled back, crossing her arms over her chest.

Shikamaru put his hands up in front of his body defensively. "Hey, it's okay. What's got you so riled up? Should I go get Sakura or…? "

Temari shut her eyes tight, oblivious to his inquiry. He could hear her teeth grinding against each other in frustration. He was about to leave and retrieve their resident medical ninja when her eyes suddenly shot open, anger flaring within her pupils brimming with shiny tears.

"I just need someone to tell me the truth about what's going on."

"What do you mean? Nobody has lied to y-"

She shook her head furiously from side to side, like she was trying to remove his words from her ears. "Stop lying to me, and just please tell me if this is _real_ or not! And if it is, _where_ is Madara?"

Shikamaru felt a sick feeling rise in his stomach, unable to answer her.

* * *

 **Yay for ShikaTema's first interaction! But, was it what you expected?**

 **As always, I thank you endlessly for your support thus far!**

 **Have a great day!**


	5. Chapter 5

_Without a sound ever heard,_

 _Without a lesson I've learned_

* * *

The rest of their day was spent in travel, with Kankuro supporting Temari leaning on his right shoulder as the squad hopped from tree to tree. She was openly unhappy about the predicament and outright refused up until Sakura told her that she could die on their way back to Konoha if she overstressed her body.

"Medical ninjutsu isn't magic," the pink-haired kunoichi informed the group with a distressed expression. "You're well enough to travel for today, but by no means healthy. Surgery isn't an option in these elements."

Temari was quiet nearly the entire time except for a few violent coughing fits stretched throughout their travels. Normally Shikamaru would have been ecstatic to finally undergo some peace and quiet around that troublesome woman, but suddenly he found himself missing her brash taunting and incessant teasing. He would looked away as crimson blood sputtered from between her lips, splattering the trunk of the tree they stood on.

He hated to admit that he didn't have very much experience with retrieval missions and the psychological trauma that inevitably follows the retrieved. The only one that he had ever been on previous to this one had failed miserably _,_ and Ino-Shika-Cho wasn't really a _retrieval_ type of team. He reckoned Hinata and Kiba ought to have more knowledge in this area, with Team Kurenai specializing in tracking and all. Shino, too.

Shikamaru never worked up enough courage to get a stellar look at Kankuro's face, but he figured that the puppeteer's brains were thoroughly knotted up from this whole situation. Having his sister go missing during a war where the death toll was over most village's population, then _finding_ her, only to see that she's become untrusting and paranoid of everyone around her, even her own little brother? Shikamaru found himself feeling glad that he had no siblings to fret over.

But when he looked over at Temari, something different began stirring inside of him.

* * *

 _She could feel his breath on her hairline, his warm teeth lingering over her ear tauntingly before he bit down on it. Blood flooded her eardrum and everything became muffled through her right side, but he didn't stop… Her eyes were closed._

And then they opened as Temari shot straight up, shuddering and panting as her sight revealed her surroundings cloaked in a pitch black hue.

A zipper was opened hurriedly and as her vision adjusted to the darkness she could see a crouched figure flurrying towards her. This only caused her breathing to pitch even more and as Temari began crawling away a soft voice spoke up, making her pause. "Temari-san."

Her muscles, once wound up so tight, began to relax. It was the Hyuuga girl. She was in a tent. Madara wasn't here yet. Or at least she thought.

"Is the darkness frightening you? Should I bring a light?" the Hyuuga girl asked, making some kind of untraceable motion with her hands.

Temari rather curt response was, "No. I'm fine. You can leave."

She could see the outline of the girl's body sit down next to her despite the intentionally rude attempts hoping to make her leave. Temari let out a quiet sigh.

"Do you still not believe us?" the Hyuuga asked. "Not even your brother?"

 _That's a stupid question,_ Temari thought in her head. "How could I believe you after what I _already_ know? You are all dead. I'm _one_ of the _two_ last people alive in the real world."

The Hyuuga persisted. "Please just tell me what you have been told. Do you think that you're in a genjutsu?"

Temari could hardly resist rolling her eyes. "That's clearly the most likely option. The Uchiha are very skilled in genjutsu, aren't they? And the Infinite Tsukiyomi, as I've been _told,_ revels in your deepest desires. This seems just like the type of perfect world I would create for myself."

The white-eyed girl was silent for a moment. "Temari-san, the Infinite Tsukiyomi was never fully cast. Madara Uchiha was defeated before it was completely fulfilled. Though some did fall victim to some of its influence for a few blissful seconds, even myself..."

"You did?" Temari became a slightly more interested in their conversation. "And was it anything like this?"

"Not at all," the Hyuuga confessed. "It was like a single, _perfect_ moment that repeated itself over and over. I never slept or woke up, never ate or drank… It was nothing like this at all."

As Temari reflected upon her words, the Hyuuga girl continued to speak. "Temari-san… pardon me for intruding on this matter, but what if Madara told you false information in order to digress your will to fight back?"

"Fight back against _what_?" the sand kunoichi snapped. The Hyuuga ducked her head.

"I apologize, Temari-san. I won't intrude on your personal matters." the white-eyed girl sounded openly sympathetic, her voice wavering, "May I ask if you and your siblings were ever trained in genjutsu?"

"One short, _brief_ lesson," she spat. Temari was very quickly becoming _very_ annoyed by this manifestation's implications, and she would probably have slammed her head into the ground by now if she was sure that this stupid dream-world would be ending soon.

"What did you learn during that lesson?" the Hyuuga was absolutely _tenacious._ Temari just wanted her to leave. She began listing off her meager areas of knowledge in genjutsu only in hopes of shortening their conversation, "We learned how to release someone else from genjutsu and ways to tell if you're inside of one."

"What are the ways you can tell?"

The sand kunoichi's eyebrows furrowed as she struggled to recall her teenage memories. She hadn't accessed this memory much at all, since the sibling trio tended to solely rely on Gaara's abilities in their earlier years. In her hazy recollection she could see Baki standing in front of the three siblings, herself and Kankuro sitting comfortably and listening intently to their sensei's lecture. Gaara was likely off in a corner somewhere, muttering things under his breath and being an absolute weirdo as he was back then. She could hear Baki's voice in the echoes of her mind: _In a genjutsu, you can't fall asleep._

* * *

Shikamaru immediately noticed a distinct change in Temari's composure when he awoke to Akamaru's excited tongue early the next morning. When Kankuro went into the girls's tent to wake her up, Temari embraced her brother with such ferocity that Sakura informed her after a quick medical examination that she had inadvertently ripped open a few stitches. The pink-haired kunoichi's mood turned quite sour after this incident, but even she began sprouting a pleasant smile at her patient's overnight change of heart.

It no longer seemed like Temari mistrusted her retrieval team. She surely didn't converse with anyone on their trek back to Konoha, but that was more of an issue with her being in a considerable amount of pain than anything else. Her laboured breathing caused them to stop many times during their twelve-hour expedition, and she often stood hunched over herself, panting and gasping for breath as Kankuro looked over her helplessly, eyes darting back and forth as if a solution would dig itself up from underground. He would turn to Sakura with panic in his voice, asking why she couldn't do anything when Temari was in pain.

Sakura explained time and time again that Temari's most pressing medical concerns were only soluble through surgery, which made it all the more important they return to the Leaf as quickly as possible. Sakura would inject Temari with a mild painkiller and in about fifteen minutes the group was able to set off again through the trees at a milder pace.

They were due to arrive back right before sundown, but ending up staggering into the entrance of Konoha just as the last few glimmering rays of orange slivered through the overhead clouds and painted their surroundings.

Kankuro turned to face the men guarding the entryway, his sister draped over his shoulder as her tired body slumped over him. "This is the ambassador to Suna and the sister to the current Kazekage. Please inform him of her retrieval and living status, and have a medic ready to examine her at the hospital."

"We're going to need a stretcher. She shouldn't be on her feet any longer," Sakura said, gently coaxing Temari from Kankuro's grasp and setting her on the ground. "I'll accompany you to the hospital so I can tell her primary medic-nin what I already know about her condition."

"Hinata, Shikamaru, and I can take care of the mission summary with whoever's in charge around here now," Kiba said confidently, giving their teammates a thumbs-up. They paid no attention to him whatsoever, and he grumbled something about disrespect underneath his breath.

"I'll come by later, Kankuro, to check up on you guys," Shikamaru said as he gathered up his belongings. He watched as his friend teared his painted eyes away from his sister for a mere second, nodding at Shikamaru in approval. Hinata gave a deep bow, as she always did at the end of a long mission, and then turned to march alongside Kiba and himself, off to meet the new Hokage.

* * *

Temari was faintly aware of her environment as she was placidly placed on a mattress. More than anything she desired to flip herself over and embrace the heavenly cotton beneath her, but Temari knew that her body hurt far too much to even _think_ about moving.

The pink-haired girl, whose name she had learned through the power of observation was _Sakura,_ chatted with someone Temari could only assume was a fellow medic-nin. She offhandedly wondered if Kankuro was in the room.

By the low tone of voice that Sakura was using, it seemed like a fair assumption. Other people were certainly rummaging around in her room as well, sticking needles inside her wrists and thermometers on her tongue and then going along their business. The door was busily sliding open and closed as a flurry of medics flooded in and out after finishing their duties with her. Temari of course wanted to know what was going on, but had realized once the sun started setting that her brain pounded against the inside of her skull every time she even _tried_ opening her eyes.

Temari's stomach churned like she was going to throw up, but the feeling never rose past her sternum. It felt like something inside was trying to get _out_. She could feel it crawling and scraping against the inside of her, her eyes shut tight through the pain. She knew from experience that if she coughed all that would surface is blood, and that would only disgust her even more.

The person talking to Sakura stepped towards her. They said, "Temari-san, on a scale of one to ten, how much pain are you in?"

It was a woman; she could tell explicitly through their voice. Tears slipping down her cheeks, Temari squealed, " _Nine_." Blood spilled out when she opened her mouth, dribbling over her chin and splashing onto her neck in small, warm drops.

She kept gagging and choking as more blood rapidly flooded out from her mouth, staining her clothes as well as the mattress lying underneath. The medic near her sprung into action, ordering their subordinates to begin wheeling the sand kunoichi to a different room across the hall. Temari could feel the bed disengage below her as she was lowered onto a cold stretcher made entirely out of steel. She felt the air whizz past, tugging on her hair as she left the room. The female medic kept pace with her as they travelled along the quick-paced hospital.

"Temari-san, we are going to be taking you into surgery. I'm going to start counting down from ten to one and at one I will sedate you. Don't try to speak or else you might make things worse, okay? Here I go. _Ten_ …"

* * *

For some reason, Shikamaru thought about Naruto as he walked down from the stairs leading up to the Hokage's tower.

Perhaps it was because he had just been informed that Naruto's jonin leader Kakashi Hatake had been voted by the council as the Rokudaime Hokage in his absence. He felt a pang in his heart as he realized the council had one less vote on that decision.

Or maybe it was something about Naruto's spirit that couldn't leave his mind. His boundless energy, his unwavering desire to always get back up one more time than he was pushed down. When Shikamaru thought about his own personal losses and deficits a deep sense of pity began welling up inside of him, so tight and knotted like it would stick with him for every breath he took. Shikamaru thought about Asuma, and how his father had helped him through those tangled feelings. Now that his father was gone, who was left?

Maybe Asuma was just a warm-up. A tutorial that Shikaku led him through step-by-step. Because later on that same year Naruto faced the equally as untimely death of his own sensei, the Legendary Sannin Jiraiya. And when Shikamaru stumbled upon his friend looking about as glum as he'd ever seen him, he repeated the same words that his father had told him a few months prior.

He had never felt prouder his whole life than in that single moment. After years of hand-holding, Shikamaru had _finally_ been able to do something out of his comfort zone, entirely on his own with no ceaseless prodding from behind. Whenever Ino cried, he always tended to just simply tune her out as he chatted with Choji. When his mom hollered _I love you_ as he sauntered out the front door, Shikamaru's response consisted only of silence. Every one of his actions until then were solely for his own benefit.

But then he realized, as he drowned out the noises of Hinata and Kiba's casual conversation a few feet in front of him, that he wanted to _help_ Temari the same way he had helped Naruto that one day. Because Shikamaru didn't want to lose a friend due to his own shortcomings. He didn't want to ignore her _troublesome_ situation and just wait until she returned to Suna. For once, he wanted to be in the heart of it.

* * *

 **So this chapter was originally supposed to be a lot longer, but I decided I liked the way that Shikamaru's POV ended it. Sorry :(**

 **I really hope that you guys are enjoying it so far! I'll see you all next time.**

 **Have a great day!**


	6. Chapter 6

_But even if you had it all,_

 _You would find_

* * *

Temari woke up unceremoniously with an incessant cramp in the pit of her stomach. She moved her hand over try and cradle her belly only for a quiet voice to calmly demand, "Please try not to move, Temari-san."

She turned her attention to a rather tired-looking woman seated on the chair nestled along her bedside. The woman held a chart in her hands, humming some tune as she nonchalantly penciled a few things in here and there. Every couple of moments she would glance over Temari's still form, then promptly continue filling out her papers. After a few minutes, she set it down beneath her chair and offered a quaint smile towards the blonde-haired kunoichi laying down in her hospital bed.

"Hello, Temari-san. My name is Shizune. I am your primary medic for the duration of your stay in Konoha." the woman offered up this information freely, a pleasant and professional smile on her face. "Nearly an hour and a half ago we were able to successfully perform surgery repairing your torn liver. We were also able to complete a full body examination on you and study all of your injuries to begin considering different treatment options. Now I know that you are exhausted at the moment and it's very important that you get your rest, but first I need to finish my medical evaluation that is due to the Kazekage."

 _And you need me for that? Am I a medic?_ "Alright." Temari said, a little uncertainly.

"That evaluation must include the details of how your injuries occured while on duty, and then your Kage, with help from my input, will determine how long you will be off duty as well as when your psychological evaluation will take place."

Temari furrowed her eyebrows, a bit peeved. "Psychological evaluation?"

Shizune nodded. _This must all be a very routine practice for her_ , Temari thought. "Every shinobi held captive by an enemy for any period of time requires an evaluation. They will probably be much better at comforting you than me, I'm afraid to say."

Temari shook her head. "I don't _need_ an evaluation. I wasn't held captive."

Shizune gave her a doubtful look. "Temari-san, there is absolutely nothing to be ashamed of. I can even find other kunoichi who suffered through the same things you did to come talk to you while you're still recovering, if you'd like."

"Suffered? Nothing has happened to me." Temari scoffed, her eyes darting around the room as she avoided Shizune's gaze. "There's nothing to recover from."

Shizune sighed, and swiftly reached underneath her chair. Matter-of-factly, she stated from reading her papers, "You came in here with a fractured wrist, a bruised esophagus, eight broken ribs, a fractured cheekbone, a bruised cervix, and a torn liver." The medic raised her stare to read her patient's shameful expression. She placed a delicate hand on top of Temari's, exerting a startled twitch from the girl, before she continued to speak. "You can never let go of your pain until you first embrace it, Temari-san. I have seen too many patients of mine become eaten alive by something like this. This is only the first step in the long journey, but I swear to you it is the most important step you will ever take. So please, just recount your experience to me from the beginning, and then I will get right out of your hair and let you sleep until tomorrow."

So Temari opened her mouth and a messy stream of words erupted from within. It felt like a scream in the same way that her throat burned the whole way through, her eyes kept watering with tears until they eventually threatened to spill over onto her skin.

She wiped them away before they got the chance, watching Shizune depart from her quarters just as swiftly she had promised.

* * *

Shikamaru was disturbed by a flurry of timid knocking at his front door.

It was practically the crack of dawn. He had only just woken up to get himself a glass of water before retreated back to his bed, but this certainly threw a wrench in his schedule. Groggily he tried rubbing the sleep out of his eyes as he flung the door open. "Whadday- oh, hey, Hinata. What's up?"

Hinata looked rather embarrassed and red in the face, as she had just walked in on Naruto in his underpants or something like that. "I-I apologize, Shikamaru-kun. I didn't mean to wake you. I can go so that - "

"Oh, no, you're fine. I was already up actually," he lied, suppressing a yawn as he clamped his jaw closed. If it was anyone else badgering him in the morning, he probably would have snapped, but Shikamaru knew that Hinata bore no ill intentions.

"Well, then, in that case…" Hinata still looked a bit shy, her white eyes fluttering towards the ground. "I was just wondering if you would like to go visit Temari-san in the hospital with Kiba, Sakura, and I today."

 _Today?_ "Is she already accepting visitors?"

"Oh, I haven't asked yet, but that's because I'm not quite sure where Kankuro is staying and Sakura didn't answer when I knocked on her door." Hinata admitted.

"I can track down Kankuro and then get back to you. I usually chaperone the Sand Siblings when they visit, so I do know which inn he's staying at." Shikamaru said.

"Oh, that's wonderful. Thank you, Shikamaru-kun." the Hyuuga looked up happily and beamed at him. "I'll go try to find Sakura-chan and see if she knows anything."

"Sounds like a plan," said Shikamaru, offering a rare, small smile towards his friend as she bowed and then hustled out into town to track down Sakura. Once Hinata was out of sight, he let out the yawn that he'd been holding back deep in his throat.

 _Of course Hinata would be up early the day after a long mission,_ he thought to himself. _And obviously she would be wanting to visit a sick comrade instead of stocking up on sleep and meals._

Still feeling a little sluggish, Shikamaru slowly shrugged on his clothes and loosely fastened his sandals around his wide feet. He wrote a note for when his mother woke up in a few hours and locked the door behind him as he departed.

The Sand Siblings always stayed in a particularly expensive inn over on the nicer side of Konoha. It was rather close to the Hyuuga compound in fact, though Shikamaru doubted Hinata would know that. Memories of escorting Temari around the village and then dropping her off there just as the sun began to dip below the golden mountaintops flooded his mind. She would always have a little smirk on her face as they parted as if a crippling insult was just on the tip of her tongue, grating against her teeth as she grinned. She liked to save it for when they met again the next morning as a greeting.

Konoha was still relatively quiet near this time of day. Shikamaru exchanged a few hellos to various shopkeepers he knew, who in turn would bow respectfully to him.

 _Of course,_ thought Shikamaru. It had completely slipped his mind that with the all-too-recent passing of his father, he now reigned as the head of the Nara clan. With his long mission following the war, he figured that council likely just hadn't had time to formally inaugurate him yet. He would have to talk to his mother about it later.

As Shikamaru bounded up the steps leading to the inn, he sighted a familiar figure fumbling with the lock on the outside of his door. The lazy shinobi acknowledged them, saying, "Hey, Kankuro."

Kankuro turned his face only for Shikamaru to become alarmed by the underwhelming lack of lavender paint coating his face. The puppetmaster responded, "Hey, man. What are you doing over here?"

Shikamaru walked over to stand next to his friend, still watching him struggle to lock the door and with a sense of amusement in his tone said. "You need any help?"

Exasperated, Kankuro handed Shikamaru the lonesome key from his clammy hands and let him toy with it for a bit. In one swift movement Shikamaru plugged the key inside the lock and listened to the satisfying _click_ signalling his achievement. With a smirk he plopped it back into his friend's possession.

"You have to teach me that ninjutsu sometime," Kankuro murmured, tucking the key safely into the pack wrapped around his right thigh. "What are you doing over here anyway? You never answered me."

"I was wondering if Temari is well enough for visitors," Shikamaru answered immediately. His face reddened a little at the readiness of his answer and he went in for damage control. "Or - I mean, _Hinata_ was wondering. She wanted me to ask you. She wants us all to go, I mean. Everyone from the mission."

Kankuro nodded, glancing over at his expression. "Well, I haven't been there since yesterday. They ushered me out soon after she went into surgery. I don't even think Gaara's been allowed to see her yet."

"Oh, well…" Shikamaru thought that was a little overkill. Not even allowing the _Kazekage_ to see his elder sister? He had never heard of the hospital being so overly cautious towards a patient's visitors. Perhaps it had something to do with Temari's title of ambassador to Suna, but even then...

"No worries, though, I'm heading over there right now," Kankuro said, starting to lightly trek downstairs allowing his friend to keep pace with him. "If anything we can just henge into the new Hokage or something."

"We would probably be arrested if we got caught. And we probably _would_ get caught." Shikamaru rubbed his temples. "Those medics are keen on frickin' details, I'll tell you that."

"Oh, yeah, huh," said Kankuro, as if just realizing something for the first time. "I guess things must be pretty different when your kid brother isn't the Kage of your village."

" _Well_ …"

"Hey, what were you saying about that Hyuuga girl earlier?" Kankuro suddenly inquired, becoming increasingly interested in their conversation. "She's kind of cute, huh…"

* * *

Temari had been awake for nearly an hour when she heard a single, respectful knock at her door. As loudly as she could muster, Temari hollered, "Come in."

The truth was that on a normal day cramped up into a foreign hospital like this she likely wouldn't want _any_ company, but the strength of the painkillers Shizune had put her on was godly and for once her temper was actually under control.

"Temari-san, you shouldn't be raising your voice while your throat is still healing," Shizune lectured. "Kazekage-sama is here to visit you. He and I will be meeting afterwards to go through the details of your medical evaluation and figure out a treatment plan as well as when you should prepare to return to Suna. Please have a pleasant visit." She bowed before she turned on her heel to leave them in privacy.

The sand kunoichi immediately swiveled her head over to the side, her jaw practically slamming into the floor as wonder filled her eyes. There was her baby brother in the flesh, pulling up a chair to set down near her bedside. His hair was slicked back with gel and the loose-fitting Kazekage robe adorned his limber shoulders. _There must be some kind of meeting with the Kages later today,_ she thought.

Gaara took Temari's hand into his own as he sat down. A rare smile graced his lips. "My dear sister," he said. "I have missed you so much."

"I missed you too, Gaara." Temari struggled to keep the volume of her voice to a minimum. "I hope you haven't had too much fun while I was gone."

Her baby brother offered a miniscule giggle. "No, of course not. Since you've been gone Suna is in ruins. Everyone is starving. The people are rioting because they miss their ambassador too much. In fact, they want you to become the Kazekage instead of me."

"Well, that's to be expected." Temari allowed her signature cocky grin to overlap the bandaged features on her face. "Speaking of starvation, have you been eating enough? I swear that the night before the war began I snuck in extra rations. They were mostly for me, but are you fasting or something? There's plenty of food here in the Leaf, you know. You really should be keeping up with your health."

"We saw the extra rations - while you were first putting them in the bag, actually. But Kankuro and I cut out half of our rations each meal preparing for your return."

Temari scoffed. "Well, that was stupid."

Gaara shook his head.

"No," he said. "Not to us. That is just a portion of the debt we owe to you."

The Kazekage abruptly left the comfort of his own chair and planted his body in a peculiar position with his forehead planted on the floor near the side of Temari's hospital bed.

She drew in her breath. "Um, Gaara, what are you - ''

"Temari." he addressed her, his voice still muffled from its close proximity towards the ground. "I know that I am undeserving, but please find it in your heart to forgive me."

"Oh my goodness, what are you even _talking_ about?" Temari found herself turning red as she was on the verge of shouting.

"I have failed you as a Kage to protect the citizens of my village, but more importantly I have failed you as a brother protecting his sister."

Temari couldn't help but roll her eyes. "You can get your forehead off the dirty floor. I'm pretty sure my blood was pooled in that exact spot earlier."

Gaara rose from his previous posture, the turnabout emotions still evident on his face. "I understand if you don't forgive me. I wouldn't either."

"The reason I don't _forgive_ you is because you have nothing to _apologize_ for. I don't need to be protected like some fair maiden, Gaara. I can look out for myself. I failed myself." Temari said, incognizantly gnawing on her lower lip. She yelped as her teeth caught a sore spot, sending a stream of blood running across her tongue.

"Should I get a medic?" Gaara questioned, just about to head out the door when Temari held out her hand to halt his movements. She shook her head as the other hand was pressed up against the blood spurting from inside her mouth.

"Can you just get me a tissue?" Temari asked, her voice wavering underneath the weight of her palm. Gaara ducked into the small bathroom directly adjacent to the hospital room and returned shortly a few moments afterwards with a handful of tissue paper. He handed it to his sister and she immediately pressed it up against the open sore bordering her lips.

The two of them sat in silence for a couple of minutes until the Kazekage addressed his elder sister. "Temari."

"Mmhmm."

"Do you want to talk about what happened while you were gone?"

Temari suddenly felt very uncomfortable underneath her brother's piercing gaze. She shifted her own eyes downwards to focus on the bloody tissues interlocked between her frail fingers. She responded, "No. Shizune is going to tell you anyway."

"Shizune?" Gaara sounded confused.

"My medic."

"Ah."

Their silence became prolonged and Temari started to feel beads of sweat prickling at her hairline as she pivoted relentlessly on her wound. The issue was that she could still feel Gaara's eyes on her, dissecting her in the strange way that he did to people. It was uncanny; she had never felt uncomfortable with being the center of attention until now.

"Then tell me what you want," Gaara spoke up suddenly. Temari looked over at him with a curious expression on her face. He continued, "I'll buy you any present from here or even anything once we return to Suna. Tell me how long you want your break to be and when you want to leave Konoha."

"Well, I _do_ love sweet chestnuts," Temari said, deciding to crack a smile once the pain in her bottom lip subsided. "I want to leave as soon as possible. Please. And I _don't_ want a psychological evaluation."

"Those are usually regulated for prisoners of war," Gaara informed her, standing up from his seat and dusting off his robe with his palms. "But I'll see what I can do, okay? I'll at least let you wait until we return home."

In Temari's opinion that was good enough for now. Once they arrived back at Suna, she could simply continue pushing it off for however long she wanted. "Okay," Temari agreed.

"I have to go to my meeting now." Gaara took his sister's pale hand into his own and brought it gently to his lips. "Goodbye, Temari. I'll stop by again whenever I can find the time."

The ghost of a farewell was on Temari's tongue as her baby brother rushed out the door, leaving it swinging in its hinges. She realized he must have stayed with her for as long as possible, and since Gaara also had to meet with Shizune this sequence of events would ultimately leave him running late to an important conference. She _hated_ being a bother.

Temari sat back in the hospital bed, her eyes boring into the eggshell-colored ceiling as if it were the most interesting thing in the world. Her gaze drifted slowly down the wall and then lingered on the window, eyelids dropping up and down into blinks as the sight before her sluggishly registered in her brain.

" _Karasu?_ "

Temari was absolutely perplexed as her younger brother Kankuro's puppet stood face to face with her, only a thin pane of glass separating them. Suddenly Karasu veered out of the way only to expose Kankuro himself grinning like a goon, waving at Temari and motioning for her to open the window.

With a sigh the eldest Sand Sibling reached over and slid the clear panel over to the side. Her eyes widened as she watched not only Kankuro squeeze himself through the space, but also _Shikamaru Nara_ shimmying his torso through the slim opening and somehow winding up at the foot of Temari's bed, panting heavily from his recent excursion.

"Are visiting hours over or something?" Temari asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Geez, need some water or something? You sound like you smoke a pack a day," said Kankuro, busying himself by pouring a glass of water for his sister. She gladly accepted it, but took only a few modest sips as her throat was still sore and the icy water just seemed to irritate it further. The ruptured lesion resting below her lip was still bleeding a little, and left a stain on the glass as she returned it to Kankuro.

"We snuck in 'cause apparently you're not well enough for visitors yet," the puppetmaster said truthfully. "I'm pretty sure that was a lie, since you're in here being your regular bitchy self."

Temari rolled her eyes but let a snicker murmur through her teeth. She never minded her brother's teasing, and it felt nice for someone to talk to her normally after being treated like a porcelain doll the past twenty-four hours.

"And I, uh…" Shikamaru looked panicked for a second as he avoided eye contact with Temari. He walked forward, stepping in between the brother and sister pair and gently setting down a bouquet of flowers onto Temari's nightstand. They were purple and bluish colored lilacs, assorted in the manner that only a professional could manifest.

"Thanks," she said listlessly. Those were her favorite colors, she realized. It had been so long since she'd worn her own clothes in that same shade… she cleared her throat, keeping her eyes on the flowers as the pleasant fragrance wafted through her nostrils. "Gaara was here just before you came."

"Oh yeah, we knew," Kankuro responded nonchalantly. "I knew he would be mad if we disobeyed the hospital's orders, so we just waited until he left."

Temari didn't respond. She was still thinking about the bouquet, its scent continued whirling around the room. A familiarity registered in her brain.

"I've smelled that before," she said aloud, pointing an accusatory finger towards the medley of flowers resting beside her.

"Have you?" asked Kankuro curiously. "That's pretty weird. We don't have any plants like that in Suna."

Temari shook her head. " _Not_ in Suna. You know, where I was before."

"Before?" Kankuro now sounded very confused.

Shikamaru came up behind him, speaking up rather hesitantly. "I think she's talking about during the war, after she disappea- ''

Just then the door to Temari's hospital room slammed open, a very distressed-looking Gaara standing in the doorway. His shoulders moved up and down as he drew in heavy breaths.

"Temari, I…" Gaara struggled to find words as his eyes slowly trailed up the contents on the room. Temari immediately knew what was causing his discomfort as she surmised that his meeting with Shizune had likely just recently concluded, and the truth behind her mysterious whereabouts had been revealed to him. She felt so humiliated underneath the eyes of her family; the shame burned into her cheeks as she willed herself to look away. At the same time it seemed like Gaara began taking notice of the other bodies in the room.

"Ah… listen, bro, I can explain." Kankuro chuckled nervously, a look of unease etching across his bare features.

Gaara said, "It had better be _good."_

* * *

 **This is the longest chapter so far, yay!**

 **So sorry it's been almost two weeks for an update. School has started back up and is taking up a lot of my time, but I'm still working on this every single day.**

 **Thank you guys for your feedback and support!**

 **Have a great day!**


	7. Chapter 7

_I could never let you stay_

* * *

Contrary to Kankuro's deepest fears, Gaara's punishment for himself and Shikamaru consisted of nothing more than a slap on the wrist and silent assistance for their escape.

The Kazekage then had to rush off to his meeting and never again attempted speaking with Temari privately about the details of what Shizune had told him. It was obvious that he knew through the sudden shift in his treatment of her. Gaara became much more careful with his words. He ceased kissing her hand goodbye or greeting her with an embrace. _Pity_ emanated profusely from his actions.

Temari obsessively feared for the day that Kankuro would become the same way. She knew that Gaara hadn't briefed him on the specifics yet because he was still acting normal around her - as normal as Kankuro was, at least.

Shizune's check-ups became more and more sparse as Temari's time spent in the hospital increased. On one particular visit Shizune informed Temari that while Gaara had decided to prolong her evaluation until they returned to Suna, she would be sending letters quite regularly to check up on her. The sand kunoichi wept tears of relief when her medic informed her through multiple test results that she was in fact _not_ pregnant.

Temari went through two more less invasive surgeries than her first and was given a one-week recovery date. The evening afterwards Kankuro inquired, "How would you like jetting out of here in a week?"

Temari was still exceptionally groggy from her pain medication. "Hm?"

"Your medic said we could leave in a week," Kankuro informed her, a smile splitting across his face. "Gaara's leaving tomorrow, though. He can't stay away any longer."

 _Of course he wants to rid himself of me as soon as possible,_ she thought miserably to herself. Temari humbly agreed to his proposal and then turned over onto her side, facing her body away from Kankuro and effectively ending their conversation as she feigned sleep.

The day before her dismissal from the hospital Sakura took it upon herself to plan a celebration. It seemed to Temari like there was some kind of a mob infesting her room that grew larger by the minute, but really it was only around ten people. Kankuro, Shikamaru, Sakura, Naruto, and some other shinobi she had probably met at one point or another. There were little festive decorations hung up on her walls and bouquets of flowers scattered around provided by the kunoichi from Shikamaru's team. The bubbly blonde vixen chatted incessantly about how her family owned the best flower shop in all of Konoha, leaving Temari nodding uselessly until her skull practically bobbled off.

The sand kunoichi was a little more than self-conscious about her appearance. She was of course bound to her bed by Shizune's orders and her tangled mop of mousy hair atop her head could hardly even be wrangled into the four pigtails she liked so much. Her bruises and cuts, while healing, still left a distasteful lavender glow to her face.

Once the makeshift commemoration had settled down, Shikamaru and Kankuro dutifully began cleaning up. A banner displaying the message of _Get Well Soon, Temari_ lay fruitlessly across the ground, crumbs and spilt drinks littered on top of it.

As Kankuro wandered out of the room to throw out their collected garbage, Shikamaru sat himself at the edge of Temari's bed. He asked, "So, do you want some cake? I'm pretty sure there's leftovers."

She shook her head.

"You sure?" he sounded a bit surprised. "You've lost some weight, you know."

Temari rolled her eyes. "You shouldn't comment on a woman's appearance."

Shikamaru suddenly looked uncomfortable. He let out a forced sigh. "Er… yeah, you're right."

Temari tried to smile.

The lazy shinobi threw his hands behind his head, turning himself towards him. "So, uh, listen…" he said, his voice pitching earnestly. "I'm gonna write you once you return to Suna, so make sure you write me back, yeah?"

She raised an eyebrow. "You don't think I'll have anything better to do?"

"Considering you're gonna be on bed rest for who knows how long, I'm _assuming_ you won't." Shikamaru said, cracking a droll grin. "Hoping."

* * *

Temari was in a significant amount of pain while they travelled back to Suna. The Rokudaime Hokage was kind enough to send a compact group of four Anbu to escort herself and Kankuro. Kankuro found it insulting, but Temari insisted to him that it was a symbol of companionship meant for Gaara to receive. The new Hokage wanted Suna to know that Konoha would protect Gaara's citizens as if they were their own.

Nothing inside of her was broken or torn anymore but her body was still struggling deep within in the messy process of healing. Temari knew what her family didn't want her to; she would be on strict bed rest as soon as they returned home.

How long would she go without missions? Without training? She missed feeling powerful. Now everything started to hurt when she even _coughed_ too violently.

The distance between Suna and Konoha on foot was typically three days. If Temari was quick she could get there in two and a half, but for this specific trip she was crucially lacking in stamina. Kankuro fashioned her a crutch and allowed her to lean her bodyweight underneath his armpit as they walked, the pack of Anbu trailing behind them inconspicuously to not attract attention.

Temari was draped in a pure white cloak that shielded her face from the harsh sunlight. She supposed that this was intended to protect her identity from the passersby, but became rather dumbstruck by this foreign notion. In all of her travels she had never once been cautious enough to hide who she was. She just hadn't ever thought of herself as _that_ important of a person.

When Kankuro and Temari retired to an inn the first night, the Anbu remained dispersed around their quarters in pairs of two. The sand kunoichi, despite being exhausted from the long trek there, found herself panting and clutching a blanket to her chest as she awoke from her fitful sleep night after night. Now that she was no longer inhabiting the safety of a hospital, nightmares plagued her rest.

On their last night of voyage she woke again in the middle of the night. A quick glance out the window assured her that the endless sky was still painted black and urged her to rest, but Temari was far too frightened to return to sleep. She listened to her little brother's noisy snoring seeping through the walls into her own room as she shakily caught her breath. Temari had left her nightstand lamp on, now too afraid to even _sleep_ in the dark. What a coward she had become.

Temari swung her feet over the edge of her bed, hovering hesitantly over the floor before gently padding her way over to the door. She had decided on downing a glass of water from the sink in order for her scrambling mind to be put at ease.

As Temari approached the kitchen she could hear slightly muffled excerpts through the walls from a conversation between two Anbu chatting in an adjacent room. She sat on the counter sipping gingerly at her drink, soothing her reckless emotions up until she heard the discussion topic take a distinct shift.

"...the Kazekage's sister."

Her eyes squinted amongst the shimmer of the pale moonlight, hearing the other Anbu chuckle.

"Rumor has it that Madara Uchiha claimed her as a spoil of war."

 _Rumor?_

"That's what I heard, too. I heard he got her knocked up."

Temari's head started swimming. She hoped she was still dreaming.

One of the Anbu scoffed. "Imagine the Godaime Kazekage's humiliation when his sister's first child belongs to the enemy that almost wiped us all out."

"If he knows what's good for him he'll marry her off fast so the new husband can claim it. Hell, I'll do it as a courtesy." Both of the Anbu laughed, and then the one who spoke first started delving into further detail of a fantasy marriage between himself and Temari. Specifically, events occurring within the bedroom.

Temari felt completely ill. Like the water she had just drank was now boiling inside of her stomach and threatening to upchuck straight out of her throat.

These were the soldiers that were supposed to protect her from harm? They didn't even _respect_ her. And she couldn't help but wonder... how had they even found out about what happened in the first place?

 _Konoha has always had the biggest gossips,_ Temari thought bitterly.

It was true that Madara had claimed her first kiss. Her first intimacy. His doujutsu had filtered the first eyes laid on her nude form. His marks of brutality marred her face and body.

What she didn't know was that along the way he would be claiming her name.

* * *

The Anbu bowed deeply in front of Temari and Kankuro as they deposited them right before the front entrance of Suna. Temari wanted to spit on their stupid oversized masks, but simply offered a curt nod as they disbanded.

Gaara greeted them at the gate, a crowd of citizens trailing behind him with earnest expressions. He took Kankuro into his arms in a brotherly hug and simply offered a nod towards his sister, still preferring to avoid any physical contact with her. The villagers exchanged quizzical looks at this act; she would have giggled out loud with glee if her body wasn't aching so severely. The news clearly hadn't reached Suna yet.

Kankuro leaned his lips into his baby brother's ear, questioning loudly, "What, Temari doesn't get a hug all of a sudden? Come on, man."

The Kazekage jerked away, sending a jaded glare into Kankuro's squinting eyes. "We will discuss it later," Gaara hissed under his breath, motioning towards the large group of citizens behind him.

The crowd cheered and parted themselves for the limping, exhausted kunoichi as she was assisted onto a steady path towards the dome-shaped home she shared with her siblings. Baki resided there from time to time if he could get off work for long enough, but he satisfied their yearning for his presence with weekly visits after his council meetings.

Temari could hardly fight the ball of excitement growing within her stomach as she approached her house. She felt the sand rustling underneath her flat-heeled shoes, sending shivers up her spine. It had been nearly a _month_ since she'd set foot in Suna, after all. She hoped that her sandals would leave bold footprints in the sand, because she doubted that in the following weeks she would have many opportunities to take a stroll outside.

* * *

Temari sat up in her bed, leaning comfortably against an oversized pillow that supported the cramps nestled deep within her spine. She had a pretty lengthy book on summoning split open across her lap. She was already halfway finished with it since all she had done since her return the previous day was lay in this _annoying_ bed.

Kankuro waltzed into the room unceremoniously, holding a tray of assorted breakfast items. It was so early that the sun had barely begun to rise, painting the room a dim orange hue.

He quietly set the tray down on Temari's nightstand. The pleasant aroma of eggs, bananas, toasted bread, and plain white rice filled her nostrils and of course she spied a few sweet chestnuts hidden on the side of her plate. And yet Temari returned her attention to the book she had been reading. Her stomach just hadn't quite settled yet.

She kept her eyes on her novel, nonchalantly greeting, "What's up?"

Kankuro sighed, keeping his gaze level with the floor. "Gaara is being a little prick."

She raised an eyebrow, questioning, "How?"

"He refuses to act normal after what happened," he said bitterly. "He told me, you know."

A moment of panic swelled up inside Temari's chest. "Told you what?"

"Well, you know. What your medic told him."

"He _told_ you?" she roared, her voice rising to dangerous levels and echoing inside of her large bedroom. Kankuro elevated his stare, looking deep into his sister's eyes as he put a finger to his lips in a silencing motion.

"Listen, I'm not going to think of you differently just 'cause you were held captive. I don't know why Gaara's so torn up about it, but that's his own business. I just don't like how it's affecting his relationship with you." he said.

 _Held captive…_ Temari bit her tongue, realizing that Kankuro was still unaware of what exactly had discomforted Gaara so much. She supposed she should thank Gaara for keeping it a secret.

"What do you mean _affecting_?" she asked.

"I mean… damn, I might as well just tell you." Kankuro spoke tiredly with another long, dragged out sigh. "Gaara wants you to get married."

" _Married_?!"

This time she couldn't contain her volume.

"Geez, come on. Quiet down, quiet down." Kankuro lectured his elder sister, crossing his cloaked arms across his chest. "I won't let him, obviously."

"Why the hell does he want me to get _married_? And to who?"

"Oh, you know, something diplomatic. Like an arranged marriage."

"You never answered my question of _why._ " Temari growled.

Kankuro rolled his eyes. "He wants you to be happy, Temari."

"Oh, I'm sure a forced marriage with someone I've never met before will make me _ecstatic._ " she was absolutely fuming by this point.

"You know Gaara doesn't completely understand how relationships like that work. He watches the villagers. He sees people on dates, couples smiling with their children. He really does think that it will make you happy." Kankuro explained. "I'm less convinced."

 _I'm never getting married,_ thought Temari stubbornly as her white-hot tongue began simmering down. Never again would she let a man dictate her and use her body as he pleased. She wouldn't ever bear _anyone's_ children.

The puppetmaster coughed uncomfortably, rising up from the seat he had previously taken. "Well, looks like you've got a lot to think about. I've got to blast, run some errands around town and stuff. Did you know Gaara drank all of my strawberry milk while we were in Konoha? Oh, and I almost forgot," he fished around in the pocket of his tunic before presenting an eggshell-colored envelope to his sister. "This is for you."

Temari reached out to grab it, holding the envelope in her hand and gently thumbing over a golden-lined insignia she distantly recognized. Kankuro tenderly closed her door behind him and she could hear his footsteps padding down the hallway.

 _From: Shikamaru Nara, head of the Nara clan_

* * *

 **I hope that you guys are enjoying this! We are officially out of Konoha and into Suna, which is where I've been _trying_ (and failing) to get our cast the past few chapters. **

**Have a great day!**


	8. Chapter 8

_Found myself in this place_

 _And I'm a burning fire_

* * *

 _Dear Temari,_

 _I told you I would write, didn't I? I sent this hours after you left Konoha. I hope that it reached you within a day of returning to Suna._

 _I'm sure you miss the Leaf terribly. The lack of humidity and sweat must have done wonders for your mood during your stay._

 _In case you haven't heard I'm now the head of my clan. I would invite you to my inauguration but I don't think it's going to be a big deal since they've put it off so much._

 _I hope that you're doing well._

 _Shikamaru Nara_

* * *

 _Dear Shikamaru,_

 _Thank you for writing. To be honest I completely forgot that you ever said that but I guess I'll do you the courtesy of a response anyways. It's pretty boring over here after all. Gaara and Kankuro are always busy and I'm stuck on bedrest for a few more weeks._

 _I'm used to getting sand in my eyes everytime I step outside. Konoha has fresh air but not much else. I'm sure you would feel the same if you ever visited here._

 _I had no idea that you were the new head of your clan. Congratulations. I thought that you just wrote it on your letters for show. Why did your father step down?_

 _Temari_

* * *

 _Dear Temari,_

 _Being detained is sure causing you a lot of pent-up aggression._

 _Visiting Suna is becoming more of a possibility as I realize the extent of my new responsibilities. But Gaara would have to invite me over. I can't just show up._

 _My father was one of the casualties in the war. My inauguration was just put on hold while I was on your retrieval mission, but it will be happening tomorrow as a clan-only event since we are still technically in mourning._

 _Hinata Hyuuga asked me to tell you she hopes you have a fast recovery. She's sorry that she couldn't make it to your goodbye party._

 _Shikamaru Nara_

* * *

 _Dear Shikamaru,_

 _If you'd like I can ask Gaara to invite you over. Unless of course you're too busy with your new clan responsibilities._

 _I apologize for not knowing about your father's passing. I only met him a few times but you two seemed like good friends._

 _You must have been inaugurated almost two weeks ago now. I haven't had much time to write recently since I am doing a lot of physical therapy. If everyone continues smoothly I should be returning to active duty in a week or so._

 _Please thank Hinata Hyuuga for me._

 _Temari_

* * *

Temari gritted her teeth as she marched across a balance beam, taking each step as carefully as if her life depended on it.

Each day she devoted four sacred hours to private physical therapy sessions with Suna's top medical ninjas. After she was released she would train with either Kankuro or Matsuri depending on availability until the sun set hours later.

She believed that she was showing great development in all of the areas that she used to excel at. Her fan had unfortunately been destroyed during the events of her kidnapping, but Gaara paid a significant fee to have a brand-new one designed for her. The Kazekage would scarcely grant her the pleasure of a conversation but tended to shower his elder sister with expensive gifts of all kinds instead.

Temari returned to wearing her ankle-length navy kimono as an everyday outfit, but habitually pulled on long sleeves and pants underneath her outfit as a precaution.

Her life slowly seemed to be returning back to normal. Gaara frequently travelled to make amends from the fallout of war and likely assist the new Hokage, but he never opted to bring her along, instead choosing to take only Kankuro. She wondered if he thought she'd be uncomfortable with travel by herself.

She had yet to attend a psychological evaluation and her little brother had _yet_ to confront her about it. They usually only exchanged greetings from when passing by each other in the hallways of their home or the sandy streets of Suna. The majority of Temari's time was spent either training or sleeping alone in her bed.

Temari didn't really like to think. She began her physical therapy as soon as she woke up and then transitioned to training as swiftly as possible. When she returned home from her tiresome day she took a dose of sleeping medicine Gaara had brought her from the Hidden Cloud in order to avoid lying awake at night paralyzed from fear of the overwhelming darkness swallowing her surroundings.

The same things she could escape while awake tormented her rest. Her nightmares jerked her alive every morning and she would sit straight up, grabbing at her chest uselessly in an attempt to catch her breath as the terrifying images slowly left her mind.

One day in the midst of a light sparring session with Kankuro she said, "Can you ask Gaara when I'm going to be given a mission?"

"Why can't you ask him yourself?" Kankuro shot back, the plain irritation evident in his voice.

"He doesn't like talking to me."

Kankuro groaned, lowering his guard completely and essentially ending their spar. "You know, I'm getting pretty sick of you two avoiding each other all the time. Why won't you just ask him yourself?"

Temari crossed her arms over her chest. "Well, I don't even know if he's in the village."

"Yeah, he's not travelling again for at least another three days." the puppetmaster flicked something over his shoulder. "You would know that if you still filled out his calendar. But guess who has to do it these days? _Me._ "

"You're such a crybaby," Temari scoffed, slinging her fan over her shoulder as she gave her brother one last blazing glare before sauntering off.

* * *

Gaara sat slumped in his padded office chair, thumbing mindlessly through paperwork and on the brink of falling asleep midday.

Temari had lost the feigned confidence she possessed earlier, gently pushing the door open as she braced herself for the imminent freezing energy that would radiate off of her baby brother when he became aware of her presence.

Gaara's head tilted upwards as he addressed her. "Hi, Temari."

She inhaled. "Hey."

She couldn't remember the last time she had been in here. The walls had slowly faded into a darker-colored orange, new pictures sprung up on the walls. One of them featured herself and Gaara as she lay in her depressing-looking, drab hospital bed back in Konoha.

"Did you need something?" he asked her, looking as if he wanted to get back to work.

"I was just wondering…" Temari continued her eye's assault on every single thing in the room but Gaara. "When I'm going to be given a mission? Since I'm on active duty again."

Gaara took a rather long pause before answering simply, "I don't know."

"You don't know?" Temari was appalled, anger slowly rising into her voice. "I haven't been on a mission since a month before the war. I was too busy corresponding with Konoha - speaking of that, am I even still the _ambassador_?"

"Kankuro has taken over your duties while you're still recovering." Gaara maintained his composure, keeping his gaze steady on the paperwork stacked in front of him.

"I've _been_ recovered."

Gaara's silence spoke volumes.

Temari narrowed her eyes as she spat out, "So let me get this straight. I'm getting punished like a child for being captured by an enemy _two months ago -_ ''

"That's not the reason." the frustration was evident within the Kazekage's choice of words.

"Then what is it?"

In the midst of keeping Temari at bay, the truth accidentally slipped out. He said, "I'm _scared_ of losing you again."

"Again? But I'm still here. And I'm fine." Temari's lies squirmed off her tongue seamlessly.

Gaara finally looked at her, the expression on his face skirmish. "Just let me think, Temari. I'll give you your answer later today."

Temari let out a heavy, defeated sigh, her shoulders slumping as she slowly ushered herself out of the room. A bad taste filtered through her mouth even as she heard Gaara's words, saying, "I'll bring you a gift as well."

* * *

 **I apologize for the short length of this chapter! Originally it was much longer but the extra sections kind of skewed the pacing of this story and I really didn't like it. But don't worry, the next chapter is already written and more than double the length!**

 **Thank you guys so much for your feedback as always. I am really working hard on this story everyday and I hope that it shows through my writing.**

 **Have a great day!**


	9. Chapter 9

_I don't want to hold your gaze_

 _I'm scared what I might see there_

* * *

Shikamaru was sprinting through the streets of Konoha on his way to the Hokage's office. Of course he had woken up late for his meeting. What else would he have done, set an _alarm_ and wake up _on time_? Not a chance.

Shikamaru had assumed that this meeting was about one of two things: either a promotion or a new mission. He had been skipping out on missions the past few weeks to accommodate his new schedule as the head of his clan and aside from a few quick deliveries to neighboring inns and tea shops, Shikamaru hadn't stepped one foot out of the Leaf in quite a few weeks.

As he quickly bounded up to steps leading to the Rokudaime Hokage's office, the lazy shinobi heard a nonchalant voice say from behind him, "Hey."

Shikamaru turned around only to see Hatake Kakashi dressed in his Hokage robes, waving casually at him. _And I thought I was late…_

"What's up? What are you doing here?" the Rokudaime asked.

"Well, you called me here." Shikamaru said, awkwardly placing a hand behind his head.

The surprise registered onto Kakashi's expression. "Did I? Hm, well in that case, let's go inside and chat…"

After the two of them became situated across from each other, Kakashi immediately began impatiently flipping through his messy bundles of folders. He murmured a few curses underneath his breath as the thin pages kept slipping between his fingers. Eventually he grabbed a clump of pages in particular, creasing them with the bare force from his fist.

"Ah, yes, Shikamaru…" Kakashi mumbled, a small sense of triumph in his voice. "I guess I did ask you to come here."

"Well… yeah."

Kakashi's squinting black pupils scanned over the papers in front of him. "It looks like the Kazekage has requested for you to escort their ambassador from Suna to Konoha."

Shikamaru's narrow eyes widened comically. "So you mean... Sabaku no Temari?"

Kakashi leaned in closer towards the pages scattered across his desk. "Yes, that's her," he responded, "She's the Kazekage's sister, isn't she? The one who went missing during the war."

The Nara head nodded slightly in confirmation, unwilling to disclose any further information at Temari's expense.

"Are you two friends?" Kakashi asked offhandedly as he filled in some blank spaces on Gaara's request.

Shikamaru merely shrugged. Temari had become quite a hot topic for gossips in Konoha during the weeks following her departure and he definitely didn't want to do anything to _re_ ignite them. Though he severely doubted Kakashi would spread anything, it was better to keep his communications with her a secret for the time being.

He remembered when Choji had first confronted him with knowledge of the rumors one lazy afternoon over a cheap lunch eating out.

"Who did you hear that from?" Shikamaru had demanded, causing a bit of a stir inside the restaurant. Choji shielded his hands in front of him defensively, citing Ino as his source and leaving it at that as his friend marched outside the door with a purpose.

When Shikamaru arrived at the Yamanaka flower shop, the bell practically slid off the doorway with the force he exerted opening it.

"Hey, what's up?" Ino greeted him lethargically, her hand moving over her pink-stained mouth outstretching into a yawn.

"What the _hell,_ Ino?"  
She shot him an annoyed look, suddenly looking much more alert than she had just moments before. "What's your deal?"

Shikamaru's voice rose beyond his control. "Choji told me all the shit you were telling him about Temari. Why would you tell anyone that? That's _private stuff,_ I thought that as a girl you would at least - ''

" _I_ only told Choji." Ino interrupted, crossing her arms over her apron in with a sour look upon her face. "And my mom. And Tenten. Hinata already knows because Sakura told her, which is coincidentally who I heard it from! So if you really want to go spaz out on someone, find billboard brow and leave _me_ alone!"

"Yeah? And who did Sakura hear it from?"

Ino was not pleased with his belligerence. "Sakura didn't _need_ anyone to tell her, she's the one who figured everything out, dummy!"

"Yeah, well, I don't give a crap! You need to go visit all your friends and tell them to cut it out and keep their mouths shut." Shikamaru spat in anger. "Choji's like the fourth person I've heard talking about it. Temari doesn't need to deal with this when she comes back over here."

It was wishful thinking that Ino would actually go through with meeting his demands. Even if she had, the gossip had hatched and would continue to circulate for the weeks following. Though the rumors had simmered down considerably, Sakura's loose lips had still ensured that the majority of Konoha had Temari in the back of their minds on the day of Shikamaru's departure to Suna.

He didn't know how to feel about seeing his friend again. He missed her, of course, but he felt awkward knowing so much about her private life that she had surely _not_ wanted anyone to be so aware of without her knowledge.

It was rather unusual for Gaara to request his sister an escort for a simple journey to the Leaf, but it wasn't impractical, considering… Shikamaru's face flushed, and he started walking a little faster.

He didn't want to make her feel uncomfortable. Or like she was being babysat. He would treat this trip as a friendly outing, as if nothing ever happened. He wouldn't even _mention_ it.

That didn't mean his jaw didn't clench every time he _thought_ about it.

* * *

Temari was still munching meagerly at her breakfast when she received word that Gaara had summoned her presence at his office.

The past few days she had been taking on modest D-rank missions. She could be seen scurrying around Suna tracking down stray animals, delivering packages, pr helping the elderly navigate around the village. Gaara insisted that he would gradually increase her workload until it rose back up to her old jonin duties but Kankuro of course adored _any_ excuse to tease his sister mercilessly.

She was still rather tired despite just waking up. The sleeping medication Gaara had gifted her wasn't working as well anymore. Perhaps it was from overuse. She had found that its effects became dwarfed the longer she used it nightly; it now took two pills per night for her to even get an hour of rest and that was in between nightmare after nightmare swaying her harshly out of sleep.

Temari never knocked before entering the Kazekage's office. She glided the door open in a fluid motion and stood in front of Gaara's form sitting straight up at his desk, a plethora of books stacked neatly at the edge.

"My dear sister," Gaara addressed her, his face devoid of the usual pleasure it possessed when greeting his family. He motioned for her to take a seat in front of him. "How are you feeling this morning?"

"Fine, and yourself?" Temari set her things down underneath her chair.

"I'm okay," he responded, and without pause dove right in. "So I would like you to know that I have reinstated your status as ambassador to Konoha."

A weary smile stretched slowly across Temari's face. "Thank you, Gaara."

"Anything for your happiness," Gaara said. "But there are a few conditions that have to be met."

Her smile steadily dropped.

"I've requested an escort to accompany you to and from Konoha for your next trip." Gaara held up his hands defensively. "I know what you're thinking, but please bear with me. Your safety is my top priority."

In the misadventurous years of Temari's life, one thing she had learned was how to pick and choose her battles. She had fought Gaara on her title of ambassador and won - for this round, she had to fold.

"Okay." she nodded, allowing him to continue.

The Kazekage hesitated, a moment of surprise flickering across his features at her quick submission. "Well, Temari… do you ever feel… _Lonely_?"

"I have everything that I need, Gaara," Temari supplied, fully aware even in her exhausted state that _marriage_ was surely on his mind.

"I'm sure Kankuro has already told you," Gaara said, letting out a hearty sigh. "I just want what's best for you. You look so unhappy these days... I have been corresponding with neighboring villages, political figures with the same status as yourself that desire the same things as well. They would love to meet you."

Temari started shaking her head without even thinking. No, that was the exact _opposite_ of what _she_ desired. But did her brother even care about her aspirations anymore?

To be offered up like a meal to some carnivorous monster that would only swallow what was left of her will… And the possibility of living the rest of her life like that? She would rather die.

"Please, my dear sister. At least entertain the idea. I have profiles on the suitors right here in this folder. You can flip through them while you're away and come back with an answer of who you would like me to arrange a meeting with. It's that simple." Gaara's voice had adopted an imploring tone.

 _Why is he so desperate?_ "I'm not pregnant, you know." Temari blurted out. "If that's what you're worried about." _If that's why you're trying to get rid of me..._

"Of course that is good to hear, but I..." Gaara swallowed. "I would have difficulties sending you away without knowing our issues would soon be resolved."

Temari immediately recognized Gaara's intentions: a thinly veiled threat. No date of diplomacy, no ambassador to Konoha. His head was turned to the side in shame of facing her after what he had said.

"Okay, Gaara, then I will do it." she said, a sense of defeat filtering through her body. She would amuse his wishes, select some self-righteous man to meet over a dinner meeting. It would be painfully awkward and uncomfortable, but at least _then_ her little brothers would become better acquainted with the reality that she would die alone after she absolutely wrecked the _date_. This was simply a segue.

* * *

Shikamaru arrived at the entrance to Suna rather early on his third day of travelling. He presented his documentation to the guards and was easily granted access inside.

He had never been to Suna before, and could now understand why the civilians wore mesh nets over their head: to protect their eyes from the sand twirling in the wind all around him. The heat blazed down on his multiple layers of clothing and he suddenly regretted wearing his long-sleeved shirt on this sickeningly sunny morning.

One of the guards directed him to the Kazekage's office where he was supposed to meet Gaara and presumably Temari as well. It was a well-built, dome shaped building that Shikamaru assumed architecturally would stand its ground against the common sandstorms that frequented Suna. The flight of stairs was fortunately much shorter than those leading up to the Hokage's office.

The guard was silent the entire trip through and departed quietly just as Shikamaru began knocking upon Gaara's door, listening intently until he was offered a muffled, "Come in."

Shikamaru gently pushed the door open, revealing Gaara to be seated at his desk, alone in the room. Shikamaru lowered himself into a respectful bow before offering the wound binder of documents to the Kazekage, who accepted them with a nod of appreciation and started leisurely flipping through the stack of papers as he spoke, "Shikamaru Nara. Thank you for coming all this way."

"Of course." said Shikamaru.

"Usually I would not take such precaution before allowing Temari to go along her duties as ambassador, but with the recent events I have put her safety as my top priority. That is why I requested for you to escort her to and from Konoha." Gaara explained. "I would also like you two to take a different route than usual as extra insurance. It's slightly longer, but my sister has taken it before and there is no need for a map."

 _It's been… what, two months?_ Shikamaru thought to himself. _Gaara is still pretty troubled over things…_

"Temari will probably only stay in Konoha for two to three days," the Kazekage continued. "Please keep an eye on her even while you're in the village. She is in possession of the documents that need to be delivered to the Hokage and she should be waiting for you at the entrance in ten minutes or so. Again, thank you and please stay safe."

Temari was in fact standing at the front gates by the time Shikamaru arrived. He wondered if he had been late at all, but easily figured that she would have said something if he was.

She did look quite different from the last time he had seen her. She had gained some healthy weight back and the injuries coating her skin had seemingly vanished back into her smooth porcelain face, though the paleness of her complexion did contrast the dark bags hanging underneath her eyes, Shikamaru was pleased to see she looked much better. Fully recovered, in fact.

"Hey, Temari," he reached out a hand to wave at her as they approached each other. She lifted a hand to cover her mouth as she let out a yawn.

"Ready to go?" Shikamaru asked. Temari merely offered him a negligible nod before strolling out the front entrance.

Shikamaru couldn't help but notice that Kankuro was nowhere to be seen as they departed from Suna. He thought that was rather odd, most likely just because he had always assumed the Sand Siblings spent all their time together even when they were at home.

"It's good to see you again," he said, placing a hand on her shoulder in a friendly manner. Temari stopped walking, peering over at him cautiously as she shook his arm off like it was a disease.

"Oh, shit, sorry," Shikamaru murmured. "I forgot that… yeah, I'm sorry."

Temari ignored his apology, continuing their previous conversation. "It's nice to see you too. I'm sorry that Gaara made you come all this way."

He shrugged. "It's not a big deal."

Her gaze shifted downwards as she skillfully changed the topic. "How are things in Konoha?"

* * *

Shikamaru could see little beads of sweat billowing on the tip of Temari's hairline, probably the result of the ridiculous black sweater and pants she was wearing underneath her kimono. "Aren't you hot?"

"What?"

"Well, you're wearing like twenty layers of clothing," Shikamaru spoke carefully, well aware of her temperament and worried he would offend her. She _was_ a woman, after all.

"It's very cold in my house. It's because we're rich."

"You're not in your house." Shikamaru argued despite begrudgingly laughing at her comment.

"I _was._ " Temari responded playfully, stifling her giggles with her cloaked arm. "It's rude to comment on a woman's outfit."

"I didn't say anything bad about it," Shikamaru said. "But I am pretty sweaty in my own clothes. I didn't know Suna would be so hot."

"You should've asked me for the weather report," Temari clucked her tongue.

Shikamaru couldn't help but think about how glad he was that his friend had recovered so nicely. She was almost exactly same as before… _The rumors must be just that, then,_ he thought to himself. _Just rumors made up by Ino and them. If anything that awful had happened, she wouldn't be acting so normal with me now…_

"I'm surprised that you found the time to come babysit me with your new clan responsibilities," said Temari.

He shrugged. "It isn't so difficult after I got used to scheduling things. My mom helps me out a lot."

"I'm sorry about your father," Temari said randomly, surprising the hell out of Shikamaru. He gave her a confused glance as she continued, "I guess no one thought I was important enough to be told of what happened. I know you two had a good friendship."

 _No, I'm pretty sure that everyone was too scared you were dying that no one thought to tell you,_ Shikamaru thought. "I don't know if I would call it a friendship. He was my dad, after all. He liked you, actually."

Temari laughed. "Are you lying? I don't even think he knew my name."

"That _troublesome girl_ from Suna," he recalled thoughtfully. "He would always tell me that if I let you keep pushing me around I would end up like him."

"Well, that wouldn't be a bad thing, now would it?"

Shikamaru was surprised by how easily their conversation flowed as their journey progressed. Since they had taken a route following only the outskirts of neighboring tea houses and inns, there weren't any other people scattered about as they trekked along, instead their only company consisted of dehydrated trees and a trail of sand slowly transforming into a dirt path that they followed diligently. Temari of course led the way as she had taken this course before.

When the sun began to set the pair began their separate routines to wind down. Shikamaru used half of a water bottle to wash his face as he felt absolutely disgusting from sweating so severely. He untied the top knot from his scalp and let his hair fall to his shoulders, his shirt halfway removed when he realized that a grave error had been made.

 _Temari's going to kill me, Kankuro's going to kill me, Gaara's going to kill me…_

"T-Temari…" he kept his head hung low as he approached his friend, crouched underneath a tree dutifully studying something on her lap. "I apologize, but I - ''

"Nothing! I'm not doing anything!" she barked, displaying a forced smile as she chuckled awkwardly. "Did you have something to tell me?"

Shikamaru was rather perplexed by her curious behavior, but chose not to push his luck. He let out a sigh. "I, uh… forgot to bring another tent."

Temari's cheeks took on a reddish tint as her mouth parted open slightly.

To Shikamaru's credit, he had never actually been on a mission where _he_ was the supplier of tents. Back in Konoha on group missions everyone was randomly assigned to a specific necessity to bring, whether it was food, water, sleeping bags, or the damned _tents._ Shikamaru's own backpack was often packed with granola bars.

"Well, I did bring my own sleeping bag," Temari said. "So I'll just sleep outside."

"Oh, no, you don't need to do that." Shikamaru's voice was little more than a mumble as he himself was quite embarrassed. "The tent is pretty big, definitely big enough to share. I won't bother you."

"Uh, sure." She certainly didn't sound very convinced. "I'll probably sleep later than you, though, and I enjoy the fresh air so I'll move my stuff in there after you're already asleep."

"Are you sure?" Shikamaru asked, cautiously eyeing the gloomy bags underneath her eyes, a clear indication of exhaustion. "You look pretty tired."

"No, nope. I'm not tired at all." Temari forced a chuckle. "Wide awake, actually."

She was obviously acting strange, but Shikamaru didn't want to cause her any extra discomfort. He nodded, pointing over to the tent that he had finished setting up just minutes before. "Alright, then. Goodnight, Temari."

"Mmhmm."

* * *

 **Our favorite couple is finally reunited once more!**

 **Thank you guys as always! The next chapter should be out soon!**

 **Have a great day!**


	10. Chapter 10

_Free me_

 _From this pain I've been running from_

* * *

Temari waited until she could hear Shikamaru snoring to take another look at the _profiles_ Gaara had assigned to her.

The sun had already dipped far below the horizon and her rapidly swelling mind needed something to focus on before the red sky faded into complete darkness. Her sleeping medication had run out just a few nights before, and Gaara would need another trip to Kumo in order to acquire any more. Not like it was doing her much good these days, but she did miss the short naps the pills provided in lieu of a full night's rest.

Temari felt so embarrassed, but she just _couldn't_ sleep knowing that someone else was so close to her. No matter how well she was acquainted with Shikamaru and even though the idea was absolutely ludicrous, she just didn't want to be taken advantage of again.

All of the diplomatic men, per the Kazekage's handwritten descriptions, sounded like exactly the same person. There were nearly a dozen of them, all from honorable lineages and hailing from different villages. She almost didn't even care which one she would be forced to sit through a formal dinner with so long as Gaara respected her decision to refuse them no matter their charm and riches. As the last flickers of sunlight descended upon the neat stack of papers nestled within her hands, Temari decided to pick the Tsuchikage's great-nephew simply because she had never been to Iwakagure before and would at least like to visit once.

Temari was utterly exhausted; she had hardly slept the night before and out of sheer frustration started her day at two in the morning due to her body's inability to rest. When darkness cloaked over her skin she would feel a menacing presence, and her entire body started to burn and itch like _his hands_ were all over her again. The only cure to her discomfort was a scalding hot shower that always annoyed Kankuro quite a bit as she stayed in there for hours and all the water turned lukewarm by the time he bathed.

But she hated seeing herself nude. Her body felt used and the marks on her skin were still present, albeit growing fairer by the day there would always be the traces lying underneath. She could draw a maze connecting every single square of herself she remembered bruises, cuts, or bites and it would be endless.

Afternoons in the desert were blistering hot, but the nights turned cold. So Temari sat leaning against a decaying tree trunk, shivering and hunched over herself as the cool air breezing against her face frosted her lips.

* * *

Shikamaru delicately rose from his sleep just as the first few rays of light sprinkled through the halfway-split flap of the tent. He tried to make his movements silent as not to wake the girl he _assumed_ was fast asleep across from him, but did a double take when he realized that the space was completely empty except for himself.

Shikamaru immediately tore open the zipper, looking around helplessly as worry began lacing throughout his features. He eventually spotted Temari a little ways off where she had been working so studiously the night before, except this time slumped over in an uncomfortable-looking position.

As he got closer he crouched himself down next to her. Her face was concealed by blonde hair sprawled over her forehead and he couldn't quite gauge if she was asleep or not. But still, it was rather chilly outside and he didn't want her to catch a cold. "Temari?"

She muttered something incomprehensible.

Shikamaru had previously assumed that she had woken up some time before him and came outside for some fresh air, but was now actively debating that assumption. He reached out to feel the temperature of the skin on her forehead and was struck by the coldness it radiated.

"You're freezing," he said. "Come on, you better get inside the tent."

Temari let out a small groan, her feet sputtering beneath her as she struggled to stand. Shikamaru was wary to place his hands on her but after a few moments of watching her legs wobble he picked up her feet from underneath herself and easily carried her slim form to the tent. He set her down gently on his own sleeping bag as the warmth from his own body still emitted from its fabric.

"Have you slept at all?" Shikamaru asked.

Temari nodded, her indigo eyes half-open but glazed over with a thin film that made him feel as if she wasn't entirely present. He couldn't help but doubt her statement; there was absolutely no reason she would be _that_ exhausted if she had gotten a full night's rest.

"Why were you sitting out there in the cold?"

Temari merely shrugged. She was still dressed in her black sweater and pants but shivering nonetheless. The skin layering her face was so pale and bright blue veins from below her flesh sprawled out from within, crying for warmth.

Shikamaru said, "Well, you might have a cold or something. You can rest in here and I'll go get your blankets, okay?"

He left and returned quickly, travelling outside to locate Temari's backpack that lay askew on the cold dirt floor and diligently collected the sheets she had brung for herself. As he laid the extra blankets atop her still form, her eyes suddenly opened wide.

"C-can you leave, please?" a stutter cursed Temari's voice due to the chill.

"Uh, why?"

"I j-just…" she paused, trying to regain control of her shuddering lips. "I can't sleep with someone else here."

* * *

Shikamaru was extremely worried.

Temari had been asleep for nearly seven hours now. The lead that they had acquired the previous afternoon for their four-day trip was completely diminished at this point, but he just couldn't bring himself to wake her from that much-needed rest.

He was greatly considering cancelling the mission here and bringing her back to Suna. He couldn't erase the image of her weary, slumped figure shivering in the cold.

That wasn't healthy, right? He needed to step in, right?

But Shikamaru really didn't want to trouble her at all. He decided that when she woke up, he would question her on what _she_ wanted to do. If they reached Konoha, he would schedule a consultation for her with Shizune. If they returned to Suna, he would let her family assist her and leave them be from there. But, it would absolutely be her own choice, and nobody else's.

* * *

Temari's shriek manifested from within her slumber but penetrated reality as she woke up in her usual manner, dripping sweat and clutching the fabric clinging to her chest like it was a lifeline. In her dreams it always felt like something was balling up inside her stomach, growing heavier by the second until it finally hauled itself outwards in the form of her cries.

Shikamaru came running into the tent, looking about as troubled as she had ever seen him before. He glanced around sporadically, likely searching for some enemy terrorizing her that would never materialize.

She was still breathing hard, but managed to find words anyways. "There's no one here, so don't worry."

A confused expression overtook Shikamaru's features. "But I swear that I heard someone - ''

"I just had a nightmare, that's all." Temari didn't realize just how lame that made her sound until the phrase reached her ears.

Shikamaru took a seat across from her. "Well, are you okay? What was it about?"

The memories promptly resurfaced to the front of her mind. She bit down on her lip as she lied. "Just a sand monster or something stupid like that. I don't even remember." The taste of blood filled her mouth.

Shikamaru nodded, clearly noticing that he was nearing dangerous territory and choosing not to pursue that specific trail of conversation any longer. "It's a little past noon. I was wondering, um… if you still wanted to continue the mission?"

Temari furrowed her eyebrows. "What do you mean?"

"I just didn't know if you were feeling well enough to continue travelling," Shikamaru spoke slowly, avoiding her eyes as if wary of the reaction he might see.

"I feel fine now," she said, the words spilling out before she could even consider them. "I was just cold, that's all. I just needed to rest really quick."

"So you want to continue to Konoha?"

Temari gave a firm nod in confirmation.

Shikamaru rose from his sitting position, dusting off his clothes complacently. "If that's what you want. I'll get you something to eat and you can, you know, get dressed or whatever. Your things are right there." He pointed to an indiscriminate corner of the tent before trudging out, leaving Temari alone to her own thoughts.

She pulled her clothes off with a relative amount of ease now that there wasn't a full-body length mirror huddled in the corner to taunt her. After changing into an outfit identical to the one she had worn the day before, Temari secured her hair back into her signature four ponytails. It always hurt her scalp since her hair was very mousy, but having the same exact hairstyle since she was a child had turned the pain into nothing more than a step in her routine.

A wide array of thoughts trickled across her mind. Her recollection of the morning was quite muddled but Temari did know that she had spent the night out in the cold. She wondered what Shikamaru thought of her.

When she finally joined him outside she was once again struck by the blistering heat. Of course by noon the sun was blazing down upon the pair, especially roasting her through thick clothing. Shikamaru offered her a bowl of oatmeal which she of course accepted.

They were travelling again thirty minutes after Temari finished her meal, but now a cloud of tension drifted in the air above them resulting in nothing but complete silence. The ease at which their conversation had flowed the previous day was entirely forgotten in both of their minds.

"How is the new Hokage?" Temari asked after some time.

"Kakashi Hatake? He's a good guy. He played a big role in the war."

 _The war that I was hardly present for…_ she thought bitterly. "I wouldn't know."

"Oh, yeah… sorry." Shikamaru fumbled with his words, as if he didn't quite know what to say to that. But at least she was acting more sociable... "Anyways, uh, is that a new fan? I can see that your strap looks way different."

"Yes, Gaara had it made for me." Temari unfolded her weapon from its sheath, admiring the encrusted diamonds and plates of gold shimmering brilliantly within the yellow sunlight.

"Looks expensive," the lazy shinobi tentatively remarked. "Do you like it?"

She played around with the jewels on her fan before answering, a small smile lingering on her pink lips. "I liked my old one even though it was less extravagant. It was a gift from the Yondaime Kazekage."

Shikamaru arched an eyebrow. "You mean your father?"

"Oh, yes," said Temari, blinking a few times. She had actually almost forgotten.

"You've told me before that you and your siblings weren't especially close to your father." Shikamaru recalled from one of their many chats walking along the streets of Konoha.

"Well, he didn't particularly care for Kankuro and me." she admitted. "We were essentially raised by our sensei in a different home while the Kazekage focused on Gaara. But he gave the both of us gifts on our first days at the academy. I received my fan and Kankuro his first puppet." The memory made her feel warmth separate from the heat beating down on them.

"I guess I should be glad I wasn't born into a super honorable family," Shikamaru reflected, "The way you talk about it, it always sounds pretty troublesome."

"Well, you _are_ a clan head. That's important, isn't it?"

Temari liked how their conversations worked as an amnesiac. When they chatted, all that she could focus on was the topic at hand. A sense of ease filtered throughout her body and her clustered mind would finally calm itself for the duration of their discussion.

 _Maybe, just maybe… I might actually live through this._

* * *

 **Believe it or not, this story is more than halfway complete at this point!**

 **I hope that you guys are enjoying so far. Thank you so much for your reviews, follows, etc etc!**

 **Have a great day!**


	11. Chapter 11

_I don't have a way back down_

 _I'm stepping even further_

* * *

When the daytime sky began to descend, Shikamaru once again started preparing himself for bed.

Temari used the same excuse of going to bed later than him, and he assumed that she planned on spending the night outside without rest once again. Once they said their _goodnights_ to each other, Shikamaru lay on top of his sleeping bag with his hands behind his head, unwilling to sleep when he could still hear her rustling only a few feet away from himself. She was _clearly_ not going to bed anytime soon, and did not intend on joining him inside either.

An hour into the darkness of the night and of course Temari was still wide awake. She _had_ woken up late in the day which did affect her sleeping schedule, as well as the pulsating fear that the nighttime brought into her mind.

She became quite startled when she heard the flap of the tent open. _Is Shikamaru still awake...?_

"Oi, Temari," he called out to her. "Can't sleep again?"

 _Again?_ That comment irked her since even though it was true, she had told him the opposite the previous morning.

"Something like that." Temari responded slowly, licking her slightly chapped lips.

"Want to go for a walk?"

Temari raised her head. "A walk… where?"

"Just around," Shikamaru responded. "This is actually right around where we first found you."

She steadily brought herself to her feet, wrapping her arms around her torso as a shield from the chilling breeze. The lazy shinobi perceived that as an acceptance to his proposition, and waited for his friend to compose herself before they started walking along the dirt trail side-by-side.

Her sight was only scarcely aided by the faint moonlight. She asked, "Where was I?"

Shikamaru pointed to a group of caves a little ways off from the path they were following. "Around there. Did you want to go look?"

"Um… sure," Temari replied, uncertainty wavering in her voice.

"So, Temari…" Shikamaru began, an edge of nervousness present in his tone. "How are you?"

 _That's a pretty strange question,_ she remarked inside her head. "Fine. And you?"

He shrugged "The same."

She realized that was an irritatingly general answer, but obliged to save her breath in lieu of a comment. They paused at the glowering open mouth of the cave directly in front of them, Temari's voice pitching as she squeaked out, "Is - is this it?"

"I think so," Shikamaru answered, irking Temari as he looked like the _epitome_ of tranquility. "But when we came here before, we were pretty convinced that you had been transported from somewhere else entirely."

She wondered if he could sense her unease as they stepped further inside the rocky terrain, almost completely devoid of moonlight. The darkness veiling over them made her entire body tense. She could remember the cold, stony ground directly beneath her, scraping up against her bare skin and leaving layers of wounds oozing blood puddles that coated the floor.

All she said was, "It was definitely a cave."

"Did Gaara ever follow up on that?"

"What?" Temari asked, abruptly being transferred out of her own dazed thoughts.

"He said he would try and figure out where you had been transported from." Shikamaru informed her.

"Gaara said that?"

Shikamaru simply nodded slightly in response. She could hardly see his lax movements through the dim lighting.

"I - can you light a candle or something? Please?" Temari requested timidly.

"Oh, yeah, sure," Shikamaru murmured. She could hear the sounds of his backpack unlacing, and the strike of a lighter going off. She faintly recalled him keeping one in the pocket of his trousers.

The cave walls became illuminated by the flickering flame of Shikamaru's lone candle. They were adorned a much darker and earthier tone than the ones she had been housed in, but her mind still managed to play a ruse on her as sweat began trickling down her spine.

"Well, my brother never followed up on anything like that," the sand kunoichi said, her voice wavering remotely. "He's... too busy with more important things."

"You're important to him." Shikamaru pointed out.

That idea was becoming less and less sincere to Temari as her distance from Gaara continued to expand. She watched the light illustrating their shadowy figures against the walls of the cave. It reminded her of the first time she had woken after being kidnapped, at the absolute volition of Madara as he spoiled her. She had kept her eyes focused on the walls, only barely bright enough to see the faltering blaze of candles he lit beforehand.

The memories came in white-hot, searing her mind with fear. Temari started to struggle, hiccuping inconsistently as she couldn't quite catch her breath.

"Are you okay?" the lazy shinobi had worry clearly apparent in his voice.

She wouldn't look over at him, she was just too frightened. Inside the darkness, the present and the past were swirling together, giving Temari a headache and watering her eyes so severely that her sight whirled inaccurately. She felt she was in a state of panic, alarms blaring everywhere from within her trembling body.

Temari felt a hesitant hand crawl up to her shoulder, causing her to double over onto her knees at the unwarranted contact. A stream of vomit erupted out of her throat, effectively purging her stomach from the oatmeal and granola bars she had eaten throughout their travels.

"What happened?" Shikamaru was asking loudly from wherever he was. She couldn't quite tell where he was located in distance to herself; his voice didn't sound very loud or quiet. But she simply _couldn't_ focus on that. There was way too much going on within her head, too many things she could still feel within her body. It was overwhelming...

She didn't know long she stayed there, her head dizzy and tears seeping involuntarily down her face. But when she finally rose from her position the knees of her pants had ripped through, scraping the exposed skin and leaving a bloody mess on the ground.

* * *

Shikamaru led Temari back to their campsite after she had settled down, gently leading her by her fingertips since she was still pretty wobbly on her bleeding legs.

They had clearly been within the cave for a few hours, but daylight had not yet appeared. Shikamaru let his friend sit comfortably on top of her own sleeping bag, finding an extra blanket within his own bag and placing it gently over her shoulders.

He finally felt… that this was enough.

"Temari," Shikamaru addressed her softly. "Are you okay?"

She was still keeping her eyes away from him, her face scrunching up in discomfort. "Yes."

"You gotta stop being so stubborn," he lectured with a heavy sigh. "I'm not _stupid_ , you know."

"I never said you were."

Shikamaru rubbed at the back of his neck sheepishly. "I know when something's up. You haven't been acting like yourself."

"Well, _this_ is who I am now," Temari huffed out in response.

 _She's being too defensive…_ Shikamaru realized as he registered her reply. _I can't be badgering her in this way._

"Sometimes I can't sleep when I start thinking about my sensei's death," he admitted, leaning back as he gazed at the top of their shared tent. "The months after it happened I would freak out whenever it started to rain. I would sit inside my room all day and stare at the ceiling because I knew that if I walked out and felt the raindrops beating against my back it would take me back to that time when I watched him die. And I couldn't take that."

She remained silent as Shikamaru continued. "My dad helped me through it. He called them _episodes_ and he said they're normal for a shinobi who has been in high-stress situations before. He said they won't go away completely, but you can manage by having friends you can count on. It's not something you can run from…"

"I don't know if it's the same thing," Temari suddenly interrupted. "It's not like I watched someone else. It feels like… a part of myself has died."

"A part of yourself?" Shikamaru said, registering her words with a few slow blinks. "What do you mean?"

"What happened to me… has changed who I am forever," she admitted, a sad look of defeat glimmering within her eyes. "It's altered my life. And... I don't think I like my new life. I don't like how people treat me, and I hate the way I feel, the way I look now…"

"What exactly is different?"

"Everything." Temari exhaled, frustration filtering into her voice. "I miss the way things used to be. I would say that I wish the war had never happened, but that would be too selfish of me... I guess that I wish I had really been killed in battle, like everyone thought, or that I had been put under the genjutsu…"

 _She wishes she had died?_

"I never thought that you had been killed," Shikamaru said. "I don't think Kankuro or Gaara did either. You're… too strong, for us to believe that."

"Gaara…" Temari furrowed her eyebrows. "He doesn't even know what to do with me anymore. He probably would be happier if I was gone, then he wouldn't have to be so ashamed of me."

"He has nothing to be ashamed of," the lazy shinobi told her. "He cares so much about you, that's why he asked me to escort you to Konoha."

"He no longer sees me as a shinobi. Nobody does." she spit out. "Now, I'm just… a _poor_ woman that has to be protected at all costs."

Shikamaru offered, " _I_ don't."

Temari bit down on her lip as she turned away, forgoing a response.

* * *

Shikamaru departed from their shared tent to grace his travelling companion with some time to sleep. She hadn't gotten any the night before, after all.

He didn't quite know how to feel about everything. He could tell Temari was in pain, and he knew he wanted to help her but… she was _not_ an open book. Any information she offered was pried out of her hands after long periods of struggle, and on top of that it was a situation he was completely unfamiliar with.

Pieces of the story were falling into place and Shikamaru felt awful about the fact that he had extra information without her knowledge or consent of it being handed to him. He knew that her kidnapping was involved with Madara Uchiha since Kiba had picked up on the vile scent all the way back on their retrieval mission and Temari had mentioned the name while she was still in her dazed state. And of course he had overheard… the _rumors_ , but didn't want to make any premature assumptions about that type of thing.

He found himself back at the entrance to the cave that they had resided inside only hours before. Somehow, wandering about aimlessly had only brought him back to where he began.

The stench of Temari's vomit was still ever-present inside the enclosed area and aside from the smell, something wasn't sitting well within Shikamaru's _own_ guts.

He had noticed it first when they were in that exact same spot earlier, before Temari's episode; a rather large boulder that had previously been settled into the far right corner of the cave was now missing.

The only reason he had even _remembered_ that specific boulder was because he'd actually stubbed his toe against it just as the group from the mission was exiting the cave a few months prior. Shikamaru had cursed out loud and in turn gotten scolded by Sakura in her irritable mood for his vulgarity around the ill, and then wondered aloud about the idiocy of nature creating such an unusually tremendous rock for an average-sized cave.

Now the boulder had seemingly vanished, and while the terrain looked more aesthetically pleasing an unshakeable doubt stained Shikamaru's mind. He again used his gifted lighter to illuminate the walls as he crouched down on one knee, examining the ground near wherever he had remembered that boulder. There was scattered, crumbled rock in place of it, looking fresher compared to the significantly darker stone right underneath his feet.

Using his bare hands and receiving a few minor scratches in the process, he ultimately transported the copious amounts of excess rock over to the side, unearthing a sizeable hole nestled up in the corner of the cave. _Definitely wide enough for a person,_ thought Shikamaru, _maybe even two_ …

His curiosity was unusually persistent for such a lazy guy. He began snaking his own body through the opening, feeling the rest of the passageway give out underneath his weight as he methodically continued to descend.

Eventually his feet reached out and landed on solid ground. After patting the dirt off of himself and relieving the nasally tension building up within his nostrils, he once again flicked his lighter and the cavern lit up.

It was a rather small, gloomy-looking area. Dried blood blemished the dark terrain and various weapons lay scattered among the ground. Shikamaru noticed a heap of disarrayed clothing gathered in a specific corner and upon further inspection realized it was a tattered uniform abandoned from the war. A Suna headband was tacked onto the wall with a kunai.

Shikamaru's mind was racing, his heartbeat pumping faster than he had ever remembered and nearly about to burst out from within his chest. As he began walking backwards to make his departure from the eerie region he realized something had made contact with his foot from the side. He cautiously lowered his open flame to reveal a lavender-colored candle, and once it was lit a particular scent wafted towards him.

He remembered the realization after stepping foot in the Yamanaka's shop, that blues and purples suited Temari the best.

He remembered gifting a bouquet of lilacs to Temari as she sat in her drab hospital bed.

He remembered her grimace as the smell drifted over to her bruised nose and a familiarity no doubt registered in her brain.

And then he looked over at the torn outfit, the blood on the walls, the headband, the candle he held in his palm, and everything became clear.

* * *

 **This story is slowly but surely coming to an end. These are the last few chapters coming out next!**

 **Let me know if you would like me to do a double-post for the second-to-last chapter and then the finale, since they are both already finished.**

 **Thank you guys so much for your feedback and support!**

 **Have a great day!**


	12. Chapter 12

_But if love is to be found_

 _I'll strip you bare till truth comes out_

* * *

Temari lay numbly on the dirt floor, her wrists and ankles tied together in a very uncomfortable position with some sort of grimy gag stuffed up inside her mouth and sliding her tongue over to the side.

Her eyes had been so exhausted from all the crying that she was actually able to rest unusually well when Shikamaru left her inside the tent by herself. She heard his footsteps wandering off as she drifted into sleep but she hadn't realized _just_ how far he had travelled until she woke up to a cold blade pressing lightly into her throat.

The ropes were already being looped around her limbs as an accented voice spoke up, "Don't struggle, or we'll have to kill you."

Alarms were blaring within her own mind but an uncanny sense of familiarity also registered inside of her. She had of course been in this same type of situation before... _If I just lie here, don't put up a fight, endure it and wait things out… then I'll survive._

The people talked only amongst each other and Temari soon concluded that there had to be at least four of them by the different voices, and they were definitely all male. Once her bindings were finished, they used a candle to examine their security. The wax spilled over her fingers, making her hiss in pain at the unwelcome contact. Her eyes had not yet adjusted to the darkness, and she squinted in discomfort as a shiver ran down her spine, the rope tightening around her wrists uneasily.

"Hey, stop that." the same voice barked out, bringing the flame uncomfortably close to her face.

"Hm, you know what, she's pretty cute." someone else spoke up. Temari blanched.

The first man scoffed. "You need to focus. I'll cut up her face if it's too much of a distraction for you."

"Now, listen, sweetheart," a different voice appeared, coming from somewhere near Temari's right side. "We're gonna ask a few questions. If you're good to us and tell the truth, we'll just take what we need and leave. But if you tell any lies, we won't be so kind. Nod if you understand." She nodded complacently, gears already turning inside her head.

Of course she had been in this type of bartering situation before, but she had never been so completely by _herself._ Usually Kankuro and Gaara would be around and the latter would take care of things pretty self-sufficiently with his powers of intimidation...

Something distracted her amongst the silence. She could hear quiet footsteps from somewhere outside, growing a little louder and closer with each moment that passed.

"The first question," the man said, "Are you here alone?"

 _If I can just waste some time until Shikamaru arrives…_ Temari nodded _yes._

One of them landed a sturdy kick straight into her ribs, leaving Temari wheezing into her gag as confusion muddled her mind.

"That wasn't a real question. We could tell you have a friend with you by the spare sleeping bag."

Temari immediately felt like an idiot, self-deprecation mixing into her state of daze as she struggled to catch her heaving breaths.

"So now we know what we can't trust you, hm?" the man said, pressing his heel down rather forcefully into the small of her back.

"You see anything good?"

"There's some nice weapons that could get us a few bucks. Some food, supplies. Not a lot of cash."

"Really? I thought she looked like a rich girl."

"Maybe she's just smart enough to not carry around her life savings."

The person above her let out a gruff chuckle. "If she was smart, she wouldn't be beneath my foot." That statement got the whole group into a fit of laughter, everyone but Temari seemingly unaware that the footsteps had paused directly outside the tent they resided inside.

Shikamaru bounded into the tent just as the laughter began dying down, sending the group of men into complete havoc. They scrambled around as he threw punches into their flesh and shuriken haphazardly across the air, using a much more hands-on approach than Temari was accustomed to seeing him utilize.

The same man grabbed her arms roughly from behind, hoisting her up into the air as a makeshift shield. "Hey, hey!" he called out, anger taking form within his voice. "Calm the fuck down or I'll kill her!"

 _They'll kill me anyways,_ Temari thought to herself, hoping that Shikamaru would reach the same conclusion in the mere span of seconds he could afford. He _was_ a smart guy, after all.

But she saw the moment of hesitation stretch across his face, and in one quick moment the other three men had already tackled him to the ground.

The tension building in her arm was almost unbearable by this point. It felt like her shoulder would rip straight out of its socket, but just as an excerpt of pain was extracted from within her throat the man dropped her to the ground.

Temari wanted to open her eyes solely in order to discover what had become of Shikamaru's predicament, but her body ached so severely from the sheer impact of the fall that she didn't believe she could even see straight if she tried. He was likely just being contorted into the same uncomfortable position as her own, anyways.

"Alright, Kaito," the man who had held her in the air addressed one of his partners, a little sense of teasing lacing his words. "You can have your fun with her after you're done tying him up, but take it outside."

"Seriously?!" the man who Temari assumed was _Kaito_ exclaimed.

Temari squirmed more inside of her constraints, fear giving way into her mind. _I don't want to do that again,_ she thought to herself as tears pricked at her eyes. _Not again, not again, not again..._

The excitement building within _Kaito_ caused him to rush through his work securing Shikamaru, and far too soon the sand kunoichi was being carried outside over his shoulder as if she weighed less than a leaf. She could hear Shikamaru making a valiant effort to speak through his gag. To her or to their shared captors, she wasn't quite sure.

"We're just gonna gather up this shit," one of the men informed his comrades. She could still hear their voices, albeit muffled, through the fabric of the tent. "Afterwards we'll just kill the guy and wait for Kaito to finish up."

"You don't want to join?" another man asked flagrantly. They guffawed gutturally.

The man called _Kaito_ dropped Temari onto the ground before letting out an annoyed sigh, seemingly unhappy with the twisted position created from her bindings.

"You'll be a good girl, won't you?" he asked her, weighing different options inside of his head as he mulled over them. "If I take the rope from your legs, you won't do anything stupid?"

It wasn't like she could do much even _with_ her legs free, since her hands were still clasped tightly behind her back. He cut open the bindings anyways, for _easier access_ she thought miserably. He left the knife just slightly to their right, likely for emergency purposes.

The man settled himself on top of her, straddling her torso as he firmly pinned down her shoulders with his elbows. He reached out to caress her cheek with his cold fingers, adopting a softer tone to his voice as if he was trying to _seduce_ her. "You're beautiful, you know that? Beautiful and sexy. Ever since I first saw you, I knew that I wanted you."

" _Even in my dull reanimated form, I knew that I wanted you…"_ Madara's voice slithered into Temari's mind like a snake.

The man reached for Temari's gag, his hand hesitating slightly as he spoke. "I'll take this out, but don't go screaming and yelling like an idiot or I might have to put it back in." He retrieved the grubby torn piece of cloth from between her lips, sending her into a fit of coughing at the rash removal.

He started petting her hair as her eyes watered, shut tight in order to avoid the situation that she had landed in.

"Look at me," he commanded softly. "You have such pretty eyes."

" _Open your eyes. Look at me."_

She disobeyed, but this man wasn't as akin to violence as Madara. He also wasn't as clever, because Madara had of course taken the precaution of beating her senseless before he had his way, rendering her unable to rebel. But this man yearned for romance over domination; he preferred her body unmarked.

Temari felt lips moving against her own, her eyes shooting open as she registered the unwarranted contact that she did _not_ return.

"Stop," she said quietly, her voice coming out into more of a whimper than she had desired. "Get off me."

Rolling his eyes, the man said, "Come on, don't be like that." He dove back in for another one-sided kiss, but it would be his last.

Temari thought back to the times before, morphing into the time right now. The aching fear overturning her mind mixed with the overwhelming feeling of loss that had enveloped her heart after every wretched encounter with Madara. Everything was still present, everything was still hurting, but a new feeling sparked with insurgency began rising up within her, growing stronger by the ever-increasing amount of time this slumbag spent huddled right on top of her.

She bit down hard on his bottom lip, feeling drops of blood spray against her teeth as he cried out in surprise. She brought her knee up to meet his groin as his spine naturally went concave from the pulsating pain.

"I _said,_ " Temari roared, her voice hiking in volume as the fury consumed her. "Get the _fuck_ off me!"

She rolled out from underneath the man as he struggled to get back on his feet, chest heaving from the throbbing pain. She grasped the knife from behind her back, rising up from the ground unsteadily as her hands were still tied. Hastily she cut open the rope, and once hearing the rustling beginning inside the tent she quickly slit the man's throat and rushed inside, hoping to catch his comrades relatively off-guard.

Temari could only see mere outlines but still she rushed forward with an urgency she hadn't felt in months, clutching the lone knife held in front of her like an offering. She stabbed flesh wherever she could find it, crying out with every thrust and relishing in the yelps of her previous captors as each of them fell to the ground one after another.

Two of the bodies remained still, blood leaking profusely from underneath their bodies. One of them slowly ascended from his position shivering on the floor, clutching his bleeding shoulder with a vice-like grip. He seemed unsure of what to do, and unwilling to look Temari in the eye.

"Get the hell out of here," she snarled, her voice finally possessing the ferocity she had been trying to channel. "If you have any other friends, tell them to stay away from the people of Suna!" she glanced over at Shikamaru, still bound and gagged with a incredulous expression on his face. She added, "And Konoha, for that matter."

* * *

 **And next up, the finale!**


	13. Chapter 13

**Thank you everyone so much for the support I've received. I have really loved writing this story and am proud of it as my first completed multi-chapter! I hope no one is disappointed in this ending, of course this is a ShikaTema but it is also about Temari and her process of healing.**

 **Edit (10/17/18): Originally in this chapter the conversation between Shikamaru and Temari went a little bit differently, but I have gone back and added more dialogue in order to make the romance seem less one-sided. Hope you guys enjoy!**

* * *

 _Blow it all away_

* * *

After being untied from his restraints and moving the three corpses to outside their tent, Shikamaru was quite unsure of what to do or say.

The sun was now spilling over the horizon, introducing them to a new day and informing Shikamaru that he had indeed _not_ slept the entire night.

"Temari," he addressed her quietly, a feeling of tranquility dawning over him as he bathed in the morning light. "Are you okay?"

She sat criss-cross on the ground facing away from him, cleaning her wounds with a cloth doused in antiseptic. Angry red lines traced her wrists and ankles.

"Are you?" she asked in response.

"Yeah, aside from the rope burns I'm fine," he answered. "But - that guy. He didn't hurt you, did he? He didn't…?"

Temari's shoulders tensed as she assured him, "He didn't get far."

Shikamaru thought back to the rage he felt building within his body as the man carried a thrashing Temari outside, his hollering muted through the gag.

Once again, he couldn't protect her.

Once again, she didn't _need_ protecting.

Once again, she was closed off from him.

"You know we have to return to Suna now, right?" Shikamaru said with an apologetic sigh. "Gaara would kill me if he found out I let you travel after this happened."

"I figured." she turned around to face him, eyes ablaze with quiet resolve. "I… I think I want to go back anyways."

"Why?"

Temari lowered her gaze. "I need to talk to my family. I think that I need some help, possibly…"

Shikamaru's throat dried as his lips started moving. "Temari, you know… you know that I care about you, right? You're a precious person to me. Someone that I want to protect, not because you need it but because I _want_ to… You can tell me anything, anything that's on your mind."

Temari bit her lip. There was a long pause before she said anything.

"You know…" she spoke slowly, as if weighing each word carefully. "It's hard for me to talk about."

"You don't have to - ''

"But I do." she insisted, her face adopting an expression of discomfort. "I think that it's important. I wish I didn't have to be on edge all the time…"

Shikamaru stayed silent but offered a nod, allowing her to continue.

"I wonder if you know this already," Temari barked out a laugh, the hoarseness present in her throat as she talked. "Back during the war, I was kidnapped by Madara... he would hurt me and…" she grimaced. "Force himself on me…"

Shikamaru was completely still, the only noise being that of their small breaths. He gazed out at the pale sunrise, thinking carefully on what to say to her.

"You don't have to feel sorry for me," Temari said quietly. She could only scarcely be seen within his peripheral. She continued, "You don't even have to say anything. It just felt good to talk about it, for once."

Shikamaru turned his head to look at her only to realize she had switched her attention back to the dawn, tired eyes drooping as she studied the beauty lingering before them.

There was a sensation of ease that hovered above. There were so many words, so many emotions that he wished to convey but he was too unwilling to break the spell. His line of sight traced over each of Temari's features, from the yellow tufts of her hair down to the nape of her neck, so lithe and pale compared to the blackness of her sweater.

He returned his attention to the sunrise, slowly outstretching his hand until it rested on top of her own.

She didn't retract it, didn't even flinch at the crisp, warm contact.

Instead, a small smile appeared upon her lips.

* * *

Two figures parted ways as they reached the entrance to Sunagakure. An awkward handshake that turned into an even more awkward embrace, neither of them too fond of physical contact with a mumbled promise of written letters.

Temari immediately headed over to the Kazekage's office, her backpack saddled down heavily upon her shoulders as the nerves began to arbitrate her stomach.

She exchanged greetings to various villagers as she strolled along, all who bowed deeply in respect to herself as well as her family.

For once, she lifted her fist to knock gently upon Gaara's office door.

"Come in."

The look of surprise coating Gaara's face was evident as he took in the sight of his elder sister's return almost an entire week early. "Temari? What are you doing back so soon?"

"There was some trouble on our route," she explained. "Shikamaru and I both thought it best that we returned. But I did give him the documents you wanted the Hokage to receive."

"What kind of trouble?"

"Just some bandits," Temari responded, skating around the answer. "But there's another reason I came back."

Gaara nodded slowly, prompting her to continue.

She took a deep breath before speaking. "Gaara, I… don't want _this_ to be how we act from now on. I want to fix things. I want to fix… myself."

"There's nothing wrong with you…" he said slowly, as if he didn't quite believe it himself.

"But there _is_ ," insisted Temari, "I can't stop thinking about things, I can't even _sleep._ I get terrible nightmares and flashbacks all the time, and I can't talk about it with you or Kankuro because it seems like you suddenly hate me and Kankuro doesn't even kno- ''

The Kazekage's head lifted, displaying an expression of bewilderment. "Temari, I don't hate you! I could never hate you! I j-just, I don't know how to…'' He wiped at his eyes with his sleeves. "I thought that perhaps you just needed space. I just left you to yourself..."

He buried his head into his hands, small sniffles coming from his shuddering form as Temari hesitantly approached.

"Gaara, it's okay, I…" she trailed off, unsure of what exactly to say.

"No, it isn't." Gaara said insistently, wearily swiping at his eyes again. "I'm sorry, my dear sister. The only thing I desire is your happiness, but of course I can't even manage to bring _that_ to fruition…" She could hear the pain in her baby brother's voice, his infinite struggle of exhibiting emotions on full display.

When had it come to this? Wasn't she supposed to be taking care of her younger siblings?

Temari placed an uncertain palm on Gaara's shoulder and as he sensed the contact his temple lifted from between his forearms and he peered at her over his shoulder. Tear-stained cheeks formed a ruddy coloring to his face.

He rested his head on her shoulder as she gently pet his head. She couldn't remember the last time Gaara had cried. They didn't see each other much as children, which was probably why she treasured his presence now.

There were so many things that she loved. She loved Gaara. She loved Kankuro. She loved fighting, the feeling of sand between her feet, the breeze that rustled through Suna at night.

She loved endless conversations with Shikamaru about nothing in particular, and she didn't even mind the ones that _actually_ mattered.

Even amongst the tragedies that had befallen her life in the past few months, there were so many precious moments. So much more in this existence she had yet to discover, and she had ultimately decided to _not_ spend the next years of her life as a shut-in, panicking at every splint of darkness.

"Gaara?"

"Mmhmm?" came the muffled response.

"I'm not getting married."

Gaara chuckled, raising his head up. "Yeah, that was pretty stupid of me, huh?"

* * *

In a week's time, Temari had just departed from her private therapy appointment. She was about to enter the home she shared with her siblings as Kankuro came bounding up next to her, having just returned from a short mission bordering the outskirts of Suna.

"Letter for you," he said, "I _intercepted_ it."

She raised an eyebrow as she accepted it, emitting a sly wink from Kankuro that left her head spinning as she strolled along to her bedroom.

Temari plopped down onto her comfortable bed sheets, relishing in the peacefulness that enveloped her life now that she was _officially_ on a medical leave as she received treatment for her trauma. Her eyes widened at the familiar seal stamped onto the flap.

* * *

 _Dear Temari,_

 _I hope that you're doing well back in Suna. Please give Kankuro and Gaara my regards._

 _I can't help but admit I greatly miss your company. I'm clearly a terrible escort but hopefully Gaara will request me again next time, whenever that may be._

 _There's something important that I realized back when we were together. I don't think I could muster up the courage to bring it up back then, but now you have no choice but to hear me out._

 _I would save it for the next time we meet, but I have no idea as to when that will be. It may be impulsive, and I'll probably regret it, but just consider this a love letter._

 _I love you, Temari._

 _Shikamaru Nara_


End file.
